No shitting. As the very close family member of a practicing psychiatrist who occasionally is called to serve as an expert witness, this type is regarded as the lowest of the low. Park Dietz revealed himself to be truly scummy by the time of the Andrea Yates trial, but this dude doesn't even have a 20th of the…

K.

YES and ON THE COVER. Thank you. Like, how many people would have had to approve that thing? Even for a weekly rag, shameful.

Admittedly, I find a fantasy Angie/Amal face-off a thousand times more interesting than the fake Angie/Jen feud. Aniston seems way too relaxed and loving her life; it's got no legs. The Gossip Imaginationists need to switch it up.

My friend and I got her mom out of a ticket once in high school by hysterically shrieking that we had to pee and it was an EMERGENCY and OMG did he expect us to go on the highway median with all those cars and no shrubbery or ANYTHING to hide behind, and I may have squeezed out a tear and jammed my fists into my…

HAHA, excellent. As little interest as I have in the Kardashian universe, if it started to surreally loop around itself I would sit up and pay attention.

HELP, THE TYPO ON THE STAR COVER IS DRIVING ME BANANAS. Does no one else see this????

Those rumors have been around Austin forever, and in high-up places, but again, never heard anything to substantiate. I am inclined to believe there may be something to it, given the persistence, but no telling. I actually prefer to believe he's not, as it might slightly humanize him, which he doesn't deserve, as he…

In the sense that these are guys who see women as objects/prizes to be manipulated/won and have no respect for or conception of women as equal, autonomous human beings with their own desires, fears, hopes, insecurities, pain, etc., then yeah, I don't think it's an unfair comparison.

I feel sorry for them too, until one of them gets his hands on a gun and goes Elliott Rodger on a bunch of innocent people.

Sigh. It's so hard to let them go, isn't it? Just the worst when you meet Such a Dick with such a dick. BUT ONWARDS.

I am declaring every Tuesday night "Foreign Movie Peen Night.''

Mark, I love you for this. I am also interested in how you sourced your material. Is there already a 'Notable Peen in Film' compendium somewhere you cribbed from, or was this more an organic exercise drawn from your own musings?

It's totally variable. You cannot make a judgment on ultimate length and girth from the flaccid position alone. Like, Harvey probably doesn't have a monster but it could end up a reasonable (and very average) 6", who knows.

Interesting!!! Thanks mucho for the tip, I am always interested in international horror flicks. It looks like a good one!

Hot works, I assumed you were going for a ''hot zone'' reference.

I fucking knew they were going to be Scottish. I am so GRATIFIED!

This was EXCELLENT. Last night was fun and all, but now I want to brush my teeth and hide under the covers all day, and your presence is giving me feelings of obligation, like I have to take you to brunch and make conversation, and JESUS PLEASE JUST GO HOME.

Ooh, are you from Houston? Does anyone outside Houston say 'kicker?'

Is Team Robyn an option here??? Because THEREIN DO I GIVE MY FEALTY.