Let's make this happen. If you're fancy, you could call someone a uterine contraction. Vaginal spasms, whilst actually painful, sound contrarily complimentary (ergo: Lochte is an ultimate vaginal spasm, to draw on your earlier work), so I think menstrual cramp works nicely. Simple. Relatable. Unpleasant.

Dana Loesch IS a fucking menstrual cramp.

I love how they fool you into thinking it's sanctimonious twaddle and then it's actually just very pleasant.

That was very much the idea... ;)

"I'll say one thing for his bedroom performance: the man can clutch a pearl.''

Delighted! Briefly considered cravat-clutching, but enjoyed the monocle visual too much.

Popping your monocle?

I see how people are calling publicity stunt due to the relatively conspicuous nature of the Kristen Stewart: LoveTramp photos... BUT... I can't really see what the upside would be for her.

I don't love the Jason Segel proposal story at all, because dragging the kid into it seems really manipulative. You don't really get to say no then, do you?

I like how you are really trying to cover your bases on this one to make sure your message finds its way to the right place. I fully support your selfless proposition.

The standing man is doing Naked-but-for-My-Glasses just right. I love him. It's so, "Hello, World!"

Sounds like an educational Boyfriend Experience.