What the ever-loving-fuck is a 'pre-made heterosexual cake'?

I believe it is I either "cleave to his wife" or "hold fast", but never "cling"

Solution:

My thoughts exactly - he is basically saying, "men don't like to be all stressed out like you women. I know, you were thinking we did, but silly woman - you will land a man when you can just CHILLAX."

"They learned that business people and politicians live an average of 83 years"

Because only the good die young?

It's funny- you're saying this and all I can think of is the episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where Data is mourning the death of his friend Tasha Yarr. He struggles with the idea that her death is more tragic to him than the death of a different crew member whom he was acquainted with but not close to.