Aww, you buried the lead: The suspect’s father, A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER, says his son totally did nothing wrong.

Considering that the historical Saint Nicholas was born in what is now Turkey...I’m going with actually probably fairly brown and somewhat Asian-looking. People really don’t know shit about their own religion, do they?

Oh man. For my Trump-voting relatives?

If there is a Satanic Army donation kettle somewhere, I’m tossing a buck in. These guys are almost as strong on the First Amendment as the got-dang ACLU.

I guess we are going to find out if it was the electronic voting machine’s fault, actually.

Miss Manners recommends giving a little shriek every time you are touched in an unwanted manner. You can follow up with “I’m sorry, you startled me. I wasn’t expecting that.” It shouldn’t take long to kill your uncle’s mood.

I don’t get it; why can’t the Secret Service just take over Tiffany’s bedroom for their command center? It’s vacant most of the time anyway.

I have no words to express how I feel about the Sieg Heil party in DC this week. I never thought I would see Nazis in the White House in my lifetime.

Let’s lay off Lena Dunham and the “moving to Canada” crowd a little. I am very, extremely aware that if my husband’s grandfather hadn’t said “Fuck this, I’m out” after Hitler was elected in 1933, his family wouldn’t exist.

Pedantic Spanish-language edit: What Trumpistas want to have are “cojones.”

Hey, this year the US moved from 49th to 41st on the global press freedom rankings by Reporters Without Borders. Go US!

I stopped at Feast for Crows because FUCK YOU MARTIN YOU KILL EVERYONE, but at least at that point, the books were much less rapey than the tv show.

Most of the time, basketball players just flat-out troll. It’s nice to see a little subtlety.

All I’m pointing out, in my sarcastic way, is that “having an all-white cast” isn’t a historical necessity to portray Hollywood of the 1930s and 1940s. I’ve watched a lot of pre-WWII movies, and there is almost always at least one POC in the cast, and some of those POCs had a fair amount of star power, even if they…

The Ivy League is literally a collegiate sports league, like the SEC or the Pac-12. So yeah, the sports standings of the eight schools in the league are kept separately from schools that aren’t in the league, because that is the normal way you determine a league champion.

I don’t know if the football season would be missed. Hockey, now, you’re talking a riot.

Other than Dolores del Rio, Carmen Miranda, Maria Montez, Dorothy Dandridge, Lena Horne, the Mills Brothers, Cab Calloway, Louis Jordan, Bill “Bojangles” Robinson, the Nicholas Brothers, Pearl Bailey, Ruby Dee, Eartha Kitt, Dihann Carroll, Rita Moreno, Louis Armstrong, Hazel Scott, Juanita Moore, Ricardo Montalban and…

This is Harvard, not the SEC. The guys who write for the Crimson are a bigger deal on campus than the ones on this soccer team. (Plus, dude: It’s soccer. There isn’t a campus in the U.S. where these guys would be alpha dogs.)

I’m sorry you’ve known so many shitty men. I hope you meet some better ones in the future.