“Fuck, I was going to petition my government for the redress of grievances, but since two other guys already did it, I guess I should shut up now.”

Is it even possible to punch yourself in the helmet so hard the translated force knocks someone else out, but not you?

I dunno, I think if you enable and tolerate this level of racism around you, you’re a racist.

I’m a little surprised that Yoko Ono — who had to deal with an incredible amount of condescending, sexist crap around her relationship with John — didn’t raise a woke-r bae.

Oh, Brolin got to say things like “Your politics bore me!” in GOTG.

I almost feel sorry for someone who would do something like this. They must have been raised by wolves who were also abusive narcissistic drunks.

Two words for Timmy: 1. Dennis 2. Eckersley.

I hate to flip the annoying fanboy script, but isn’t Superman supposed to be...handsome? This guy (Supergirl version) looks constipated.

My grade is up to, like, 85 percent. Which I guess means I’m more down than Voldemort with a Tan.

I don’t think people see it as incestuous; it’s transgressive IN THIS CULTURE to act out sexually in front of your kids, even if your kids aren’t participants.

John Doe, Jane Doe, Richard Roe, Jane Roe: All names lawyers commonly use for anonymous plaintiffs and defendants. See: Roe v. Wade.

Sorry, you can’t get inside James Harden’s head because James Harden’s head is a fortress.

Awesome historical adventure novelist Dorothy Dunnett named her sons Mungo and Ninian after Scottish saints.

I think the blink drive is intended to answer the question “How can a half-dozen brain-damaged mercenaries pose a serious threat to multisystem corporate nations?”

BrightEyes speaks for me,

Remember Jay Smooth having to let Nancy Giles know, “I’m actually black” while they were discussing Starbucks’ “Let’s Talk About Race” campaign?

Can we just pause a moment to appreciate the marvel that was Kirk Douglas’s thighs?

That’s amazing. I came home once and found an anonymous death threat on my answering machine. Called the cops. They were like “Eh, it happens; what do you want us to do about it? Maybe you should change your phone number.”

Agree; it really looks like a prop belly.

Accuracy counts: I said culture hasn’t shifted THAT much since 1996, not that it hasn’t shifted at all.