Dude With Patrick Redford’s Email Address, you can stop typing right there.

Keep it up, ladies. Only about 60 years to go until you can be the Brown Twins.

“Sausage fest” usually just means a gathering that’s overwhelmingly male, no gay slur attached. (“Did you go to the Chuck Norris film festival? It was a real sausage fest.”) If it was being used in a homophobic context here, that’s a new development.

First thought: How fucked up is that?

“I’m still trying to find the dial on this thing.” — NHL official charged with determining who the text was sent to.

Not normally a death penalty fan, but jesusfuckingchrist, this is pretty heinous.

I do NOT understand how death has transformed Nancy Reagan, the stone-coldest bitch since Madam Mao and the obvious inspiration for Claire Underwood, into a bucket of baby lorises. Hillary should have been hoisting a beer, not inventing nice things the former First Lady never did.

Oh god now I have to root for Breitbart?

THANK you.

I wondered how “Miracle” managed to get that authentic 1980 hair look on its hockey players, most of whom were actual hockey players. Watching this video explains it: They just skated over from practice, no time in the makeup trailer necessary.

Uzo can also sing like whoa, which seems as if it should be an important factor.

Mainly, I’m just saying hate on the filmmakers before hating on the 37-year-old black actress who, light-skinned or not, has undoubtedly had some bullshit to deal with in Hollywood.

Absolutely! And that’s a great analysis. I’m just saying there’s a certain shittiness in the fact that, even though Saldana supposedly “conforms to white beauty standards,” her biggest box office roles haven’t let her appear in her own skin. America is apparently more comfortable lusting after a cybernetically…

Viola Davis would also have been great and would have brought the necessary star power. I’m just assuming Shonda Rimes owns her schedule for the foreseeable future.

Let’s stipulate that Uzo Aduba would have killed as Nina Simone. Can we have a moment of sympathy for Zoe Saldana?

If you buy a 4-H pig at a county fair, sparing it isn’t an option. The club requires animals to be slaughtered, because the kids have to learn that is part of the farming process.

“I don’t understand why someone like Leo has been single all these years....oh wait, yes I do.”

Like, who even thinks this is a good idea to do? And of that group, who doesn’t know how to protect their Twitter account?

Andrew Bogut’s “Fat Jimmy” tweet is still the best, though.

Seriously. Grumpy old NBA retirees, you sound like this: