For what it is worth, I never had better definition in my arms than in the years my kid was little. You start with about 8 pounds of squirming weight, then do approximately 400 lifts a day. Repeat daily for two years, gradually increasing the weight to 25-30 pounds. Shit, I was ripped.

My Dad has the hillbilly storytelling gene, but is not even slightly goofy. (My Mom is made of antigoofiness, so no help there.) I always had trouble understanding some of my more whimsical relatives, who would send me on errands for nonexistent items or ask me ridiculous questions I did my best to answer…

My two favorite things about this video: The use of duct tape on the launching cable and the bounce.

Wait: South Carolina has a perfectly good state flag — attractive and historic, even — and it flies the Confederate flag over its state house because Fuck Everybody?

Please, Shonda, euthanize Grey’s soon.

That would DEFINITELY wind up on the jacket.

Actually, I think the beige jacket would be flattering and comfortable, although I would probably drop salsa/spaghetti sauce/espresso on it the first time I wore it. I have a well-loved black shearling Jackie-O-style jacket, but the shearling on mine is, uh, better groomed than this example.

#quotesfromChinatownthemovie

Insert finger trap puzzle here.

Carly Fiorina wasn’t even able to get a majority of Californians interested in her run for governor. Of course, we know her as the person who ran Hewlett Packard into the ground and laid off thousands of workers, so.

I assumed it was supposed to be a witty satire of 1990s romance covers, because that is the last place I saw that font.

You need to go a little farther down, where Jesus says:

Hard to change the exterior dimensions, relatively easy to add a new field-level seating section. It has been done. The park also tends to shape the team: AT&T was designed to be a homer park for Barry Bonds and Barry Bonds alone; the Giants have relied on pitching roughly since he left.

Baseball is THE American game because cheating, fudging and testing the limits of the rules are in its very fibers. Steal signs? Scuff or doctor the ball? Come into second base spikes-up? Block the plate? Get the pitcher removed by arguing the manager went to the mound twice even though, clearly, he didn’t go to the…

I think they were opening for the Dead Kennedys. It may have been Camper Van Beethoven. But I’m pretty sure that show was at the Kabuki. You go down to where Berkeley Square used to be...

Looking forward to boring the younguns with stories about how I saw L 7 at Mabuhay Gardens back in the day. (Unless it was the I-Beam. So many clubs.)

I think I #notallorganizedreligions. By pointing out that even among Jews, who are a tiny proportion of believers worldwide, these guys are a minority.

This is fucked up, but you’ve got to remember, these guys don’t even represent “organized Judaism.”

I’ve had personal property on my patio damaged, I’ve been threatened, all by lovely white people.

A frankly gorgeous woman I know wore a bangin’ red dress to her son’s wedding and still doesn’t get why her daughter-in-law doesn’t like her.