You got your Who Gives A Shit in my Murilopnik.

Any of the 956/962 crew will work, but a special shout to Al Holbert.

Is the instructor named Maurice?

Clearly.

I suspect one of the attendees at the Summit Point/DC LeMons round could possibly have a jar of peach or damson-flavored corn squeezins.

@RäcinG73™: I watched Dale Jr get his ass kicked all over Virginia and North Carolina short tracks by loads of drivers, including HIS SISTER, for years. Again, if he didn't have the name, he'd be lucky to drive the passenger shuttle at Charlotte Airport.

@RäcinG73™: That's what Americans love and respect. People who worked hard for what they got and got promoted to the pinnacle of their sport because they earned it.

@Novaload: Not really, compared to how much this one costs...

I've always known I was a mere shadow of Al Navarro, so it's only appropriate I drive a mere shadow of his car, no?

Well, he gets points for mangling your/you're and for stating the car is "kept as stock as possible except" for, y'know, EVERYTHING. The FI vs Carburetor mixup is pretty stellar. Exclamation points in the middle of sentences plus excessive use of capitals is a good sign as well. He does, however, lose points for…

It's actually the new Dodge Mangum, which is built on its own unique platform and prone to erratic fits of acceleration. Frequent bursts of odd noises are also common. The engine has been known to tremor before shifting into neutral and is also known to have an extremely rough idle.

Successful? Check.

@BigHarv: J-B Weld. Always J-B Weld.

@Maymar: What if I'd rather have a Morris-engined Porsche?

This sucker's covered in dust, all right, but it damn sure ain't gold dust.

@Peugeot—Making Bicycles Once Again:

@cyclopticgaze: And she has a penis, which is VERY Jalopnik!

The appeal of the Syclone and Typhoon is only slightly less mystifying to me than the appeal of Lady Gaga and Two and A Half Men.

@oddfish: It's spelled Young Toyota Fremantle, but it's pronounced Throat Wobbler Mangrove