Nein nein nein! Ich will nicht dieses Scheiße! Gebe mir einen Wagen!

I liked it, too — certainly more than this Hyundai they're pushing now. A friend of my dad's had a black 318ti and let me drive it once. If I weren't terrified of BMW repair costs, I might have looked at a CPO model back in the day.

Suddenly the old 318ti ain't lookin' so bad, is it?

I was the exact same way during my retail years. BTW, if I ruled the world, everyone would have to spend a year in the service sector. We'd have fewer assholes that way.

Same here. Does it cause a fizzing sensation in your gentleman's sausage/wedding vegetables? And since we are talking about BMW, I'm assuming they don't offer a Christian Motorist package.

Smelly dog: Yes, though she is more medium-sized. But her friends come along, too.

Wait, are we sure the engineer didn't accost the photographer because he was afraid of being photographed in jorts?

Damian Lewis just reaffirmed his status as my favorite ginger of all time. Most entertaining lap in years.

The VW Group could probably use the good press after the Touareg's namesake showed themselves to be aligned with terrorists: http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/01/28/us-mali-rebels-kidal-idUSBRE90R0L920130128

Oliver, before Hammond had to shoot holes in the floor to drain the water out.

Agreed. Last year, I felt like I had already seen them all before the teams even arrived in town for the game.

Also perfect for teenage drivers because it will camouflage all the inevitable dings and dents.

Seeing as how that is also my dog's name, I'd pretty much be obligated to trade the Forester for a Yeti if Skoda ever comes to the U.S. Perhaps we can work out some kind of spokesdog deal. For example, see attached metaphor for the Yeti's AWD performance in snow.

^ This. Putting that ridiculous camo wrap on a car and driving it on public roads SCREAMS, "Look at me, I'm a prototype." Either dress it up like a production car so it draws less attention or stick to the privacy of your test facility.

I will grant you that.

Let it go. I'd like to see you try to fit a Saris Bones bike rack on a MP4-12C. And I'm pretty damned sure Thule doesn't sell a fit kit for that car's roofline. BTW, as one of the female Jalopniks, thank you for the nice eye candy. (I mean Jenson and the S-Works, BTW. Meh on the red Cayenne.)

Yeah, that was the first thing I noticed, too. Been a few years but I guess I'm still a bikelopnik after all.

And Alexandria City.

Hee. I do like a good crab cake. I actually lived in MD for three years. I liked it — VA is just a lot more convenient in terms of commute and bike path access. Too bad we can't carve off the crazy parts of the state.

I do live there and it's *almost* enough to make me move back to the People's Republic of Maryland.