They aren’t accustomed to converted ones at the shelter.

How slippery is the back end? You know...for safety.

Well, he pretends to have money and doesn’t even bother to pretend he has brains.

Or nerf the ever-living fuck out of them via matchmaking and RNG tweaks. If you’re always bottom-tier and can never get a shot within ten feet of the target, you’ll lose interest pretty fast.

Fired ain’t enough. Fucker belongs behind bars. That’s a hate-motivated death threat right there.

I don’t know. Looks kinda like a blowjob to me. The dashed line is the cocknballs, and the totally-not-a-windshield thing is a wide open mouth, complete with a row of teeth on the bottom (Mini owners clearly enjoy pain, hence the teeth).

Best-case Ontario? Leaving.

As soon as you make something idiot-proof, somebody will invent a better idiot.

That’s what his wife said.

A Toyota accelerating aggressively? That’s unexpected.

Definitely happened to my mom’s 1994 Pathfinder. The new transmission got an external, dedicated fluid cooler after that.

They can also fail in a really sneaky way. If they have an integrated ATF cooler in the end tank, that can fail and fill your transmission full of coolant. Not only do you overheat, but you ruin your transmission. Yay!

So, like, 8 feet?

Dod-a-chick?

Except those had actual off-road ground clearance and drive train, plus a truly usable station wagon body.

He had sunk his entire life savings into getting it, so he needs to believe it will have a positive investment return. If he didn’t live in that state of willful self-deception, he couldn’t sleep at night.

Except those had real off-road ground clearance and drive train, and a real usable hatchback body.

Except it’s not even a jack of all trades. A jack of all trades is actually reasonably competent at all of those trades. These are not good at anything. They are a collection of the worst traits of every kind of vehicle:

We could call them “Stupidity Flags.”

How the fuck does anyone in this day not know what this story is about?