So much truth. "I don't need a man, I have amazing friends" is so trite. I mean, if you are so awesome that people love you (even if you don't have one person to LOVE you), cool beans. But you are not your friends' top priority, and they will choose their own relationships, family, and personal lives over you. If you…

It's about control. Men don't want women who would be a financial drain on them, but they also don't particularly want women who won't put up with their bullshit. Being financially independent makes it SO MUCH EASIER to leave a bad relationship. That's bad for the guy who is getting off on being controlling or…

Upon second reading, this article wasn't about black women at all. It was about white women, for white women.

"Did you ever read the Racialicious article titled "Dear Lena Dunham, I Exist"? You should, because there are actually a lot of middle class black people and I would wager that of the black people (like me) who read Jezebel, there are many who grew up with "the same level of care" as most of the middle class white,…

In all the years I owned my condo, my interest deduction NEVER amounted to more than the standard deduction, and I didn't have anything else to itemize or credits to claim. Selling that place and renting a home in a much nicer neighborhood was the best financial decision I ever made.

Fire is a good one. As for the keys, you have to be willing to do damage. Not just poke and scratch and hope he goes away. Cause mortal harm. In the words of Bellatrix, "You have to MEAN it." So maybe yelling crucio or avada kedavra isn't going to work here, but you have to be willing to gouge out the eyes. And if…

"You're asking a group of people that have admitted to washing our jeans, bras, sheets, and selves less often than we "should", so I'm interested to see the answers you'll get for this question."

I know I need to do real investing, but I'm too lazy. I stash a fair percentage into retirement, have about a year's worth of living expenses in an emergency fund, and the rest is just sitting in a savings account. I know the money sitting in savings is basically going to waste, not earning interest and declining in…

Yup. Women live everywhere. In most cities, women even live alone and go about their lives alone. It's no more dangerous being a solo woman in Istanbul than it is in New York.

I suspect that being black has sheltered me from a lot of the gender-based harassment women experience as tourists. Mostly people just act like I'm invisible, or at least make it clear that they want as little to do with me as possible. Turkey is my favorite country to visit, Istanbul my favorite city. The worst I…

It requires a lot of self-delusion and discipline. Good luck. You might succeed for a while but then become a statistic — of women who lose interest in sex. (Women don't lose interest in sex as often as the stereotype alleges. Women lose interest in sex with lackluster partners they were never really attracted to in…

I've never had a relationship that started from Facebook stalking a guy. Especially a guy I've never even talked to? But in general, I think that relationships that begin easily work out the best. By that, I mean both parties are interested, both parties admit that they're interested, and both parties make an effort…

I still use the basic Gaiam mat I bought from Target years ago when I first started doing yoga. It's purple and says "Namaste" and is kind of tacky, but it does the trick. It also came with a nifty bag. I used a gift certificate to splurge on a Jade mat, but I hardly ever use it. It's not as cushiony as the Gaiam, it…

Preach. I have a hard time understanding women who can bounce from relationship to relationship. It takes a LOT for me to open up to someone, and once I'm committed, I'm COMMITTED. So while a guy might think he met someone more interesting, no big deal, it's not like we were married or anything...I take a very long…

Dear Coquette had a column some months ago that summed it up perfectly:

The answer is different depending on whether you're living there are just visiting. I've done both. For visiting....what is your budget? If it's above youth hostel but below five-star hotel, check out Base2Stay in Kensington. Tiny rooms (barely room to walk around the bed), but very clean and cool showers with buttons…

Oops, this should have gone in the thread about LDRs.

I personally don't have any positive stories (both of my LDRs destructed within a year), but I hear they can work. My ex (who complained he couldn't handle a LDR and that's why we had to part) just married the girl he dumped me for, after two years of them being long-distance themselves. I think the key is frequent…

I personally don't have any positive stories (both of my LDRs destructed within a year), but I hear they can work. My ex (who complained he couldn't handle a LDR and that's why we had to part) just married the girl he dumped me for, after two years of them being long-distance themselves. I think the key is frequent…

Eh, wearing fur is like wearing a diamond ring. If you're going to do it, then own it. If you have moral concerns about it, then don't wear it, period. Buying vintage fur, vintage jewelry, or simulated fur or gems does NOT give you a moral leg up, because you're still perpetuating the idea that these items are to be…