To all the women who will be abandoned by their husband or boyfriend this year for girls who were not even alive when Ross and Rachel were a BFD...I raise my bottle of wine to you.

According to the Healthcare Blue Book that was linked on Lifehacker a few days ago, the cost for a pelvic ultrasound should be around $160. My insurance company was billed $1200. They said haha, that's cute. The negotiated rate that has been billed to me is $900. This is separate from the $130 I paid for the office…

Fork. I entered my zip code and the procedure I was just billed $1200 for (high deductible insurance won't cover it). The Healthcare Blue Book says it should have cost $160. I has a sad.

If you find out, let me know. I hate how invested I get with men, work, friends — heck, even a nice pair of shoes. They all end up pulling some crazy shit and disappointing me terribly.

I feel bad for her, but she'll be better off without someone as immature as you. I recommend you avoid relationships for a while, at least until the thought of a woman wanting to know whether you're wasting her time doesn't scare you off.

My old job involved a lot of travel in developing countries. It didn't take very long for me to realize that all of my coworkers were quite comfortable discussing the characteristics of their poop around the water cooler.

I call it "flash poo." Yes, I think cramps are a culprit — all that...massaging of the bowels, if you will. Also, lattes do it for me too. I don't know why. I can handle milk, I can handle coffee, but when I mix milk with coffee...hoo boy. And yet...I do it every day. Timed just right, so I know I won't be in a…

I love the Smithsonian Zoo. It is FREE, so I can say one afternoon, I just want to stroll by and see some lizards, and then I go in and see some lizards without having to make a big day of it. And they do fun events like Grapes with the Apes (wine tasting evening).

I remember when I was little, my mother would never let me leave the house without a full set of undergarments — some combination of a t-shirt (pre-bra), crinoline slip, tights, etc. Maybe getting the kids these days used to getting dressed before they get dressed might actually be a good thing, part of a return to…

Yeah, I have two Spanx - a half slip and a biking-short-type-thing, and neither stays in place, ever. The slip rolls up into a ring around my midsection — spare tire is EXACTLY the look I'm going for when I'm looking for shapewear.

You know what this site needs? A story about people's impressions the first time they meet someone black. Or Asian. Followed by several hundred offensive comments. That would be fun! Because everyone knows that black people are loud and fat, just like on tv! Oh, you mean they're not?

You should be proud of being a mature adult because the glorification of extended adolescence is just another sign that the narcissists have taken over. It means you've made it DESPITE living in a Jersey Shore culture that celebrates youth, partying, and activities that responsible people used to grow out of by the…

It absolutely blows my mind that there are people brilliant enough to understand this and to work on new discoveries.

I like you.

I'm going to go with, "because I'm horribly non-photogenic, and every time someone tags a picture of me on Facebook, my ex can gloat that his new girlfriend is so much hotter than I am, and the new girlfriend, who never looks bad in pictures ever, can rest assured that she's so much hotter than I am." For every decent…

A lot of the fretting about declining fertility rates in developed countries is that there won't be enough workers to support old people. But there aren't enough jobs for the workers we already have. How can adding more in the future be anything but counterproductive? I'm not a demographer or economist or…

People just out of grad school who are absolutely convinced they know more than anybody else and who regularly disregard advice and instructions from more experienced workers. (Not saying this is you, but the snot-nosed punk I've been assigned to mentor is the single biggest stressor of my workday.)

I grew up with The Baby-Sitters Club. In my mind, sitters are teenagers too young to get a formal job. It wouldn't even cross my mind to expect certifications and professional experience and whatnot from a sitter. I was also a latchkey kid from around age 9. I can already tell I'm going to have CPS on my ass for…

The water thing reminds me of advice for disasters in general: keep a go-bag by your bed. Earthquake, tornado, house fire, or even an intruder you need to escape from — you want to be able to grab your necessities and run.

Living in an old house that has been retrofitted for modern conveniences is nice but at times frustrating. Today's frustration — strange wiring. I dropped a small screw down the garbage disposal. I could see it with a flashlight, so I stuck my hand down there, while my mind displayed images of the disposal…