No. They have found their solution. Stop treating their solution like a problem you know how to solve.

I am an old, and I’m scared Alexa will start ordering stuff it hears on the tv through my sound bar.

I am an old, and I’m scared Alexa will start ordering stuff it hears on the tv through my sound bar.

Most doctors say they don’t want CPR performed on them, according to RadioLab.

I knew none of this.

I’m more concerned about the fake gestures we did to “unblock the airway”. We just sort of waved our finger over Resusci-Annie’s mouth and said “unblock the airway.” If you blow air in and it goes into the patient’s stomach, they vomit. According to the instructor I had.

I also took CPR, as a high school graduation requirement, and I have to say that touching another lady’s boobies was (and still is) far less of a squeamishness point for me than the entire sternum detaching from the ribcage and having to continue doing compressions (which the EMT that was teaching the course said had…

I clicked into this article purely for hatereading and to post an irritated “FFS give UP on this!”, but the giant crab pictures have completely dissipated my internet rage. Well done. Also, holy shit.

Same with my 6 Plus when I was out last year playing Pokemon Go in the winter.

Plus he misspelled “cite.”

So fucking help me, if allegations surface against Nick Offerman I... I’ll... I don’t know. BUT THERE BETTER NOT BE ANY.

Five months later, I would really like to judge you for this pun but I’m still laughing too hard.

Well, after a little bit of research, looks like my smarmy hot take is off the mark. I would hope that the other members of the student body would call them on their shitty, racist behavior, like you said.

“Pulled some strings”? I’m betting this college isn’t especially known for its academics or prestigious alums. I’m guessing it has the academics of a community college along with required daily chapel, lectures about sex before marriage, and enforced brainless obedience. In which case, they were shoo-ins.

*sob* Take your star while I weep for the young girls of our nation.

No, no it’s not.

I do not have the right words for how on-the-nose this is.

Holy crap, this is a page full of nothing but truth.

My white trash roots...

The classical music festival and the pizza fest kind of do invite comparisons to Fyre Festival, but the rest, forget it.

Wow. That sucks.