“the Republicans do not give a shit about you”

The only time I know of that a TV personality’s speech had an effect on Congress was when Fred Rogers implored them to fund public television. Jimmy Kimmel is no Fred Rogers.

“Good Time”

Yeah really, are they even allowed to do that? Take Sheriff Lobo’s name for a comic book movie? I mean, what’s next, Matlock?

Would that it twuhhrrrrr suh simple

Oh, right, I get it - your client’s stupid little movie is more important than remedying centuries of abuse visited upon women by evil men?

Hootenanny

“[At this point, Middleditch’s publicist cuts in to say that we have one minute left, then asks that we return to talking about the film.—ed.]”

EXTRA CREDIT:

That’s what I’m saying - I don’t even get why the dancing bit is funny. Okay, pro dancers are usually lithe/graceful and in the commercial the dancers are football players wearing pads, so there’s the visual humor inherent in send-up of convention or whatever, sure, I get that.

“A more successful, character-driven spin on teamwork making the dream work arrives with Eli Manning and Odell Beckham Jr...”

Some of my best friends are women!

They actually took it down off the state house roof a while ago... and then posted it right in front of Main St on the state house grounds. Compromise! Eventually they removed it from there too but still

Exactly! “Oh man, I would have made that putt if only the guy hadn’t yelled and broken my concentration...” Puh-lease!

Well, factually...

Oh shoot I didn’t watch the video clip before posting. Why didn’t somebody tell me my “Raising Arizona” reference isn’t even clever at all because the lady in the video talks about it? Thanks everybody - I look like an ass-hat right now!!

EXTRA CREDIT:

“Anyone found bipedal in five wears his ass for a hat - yeeee-haaaw!!”

It’s naaht a tumaah

“I have a uuuuse for yoooouuuu”