I hope you order plenty of the Gratuity :)

So he was over again last night, and this floored even me: He's removed all fluoride intake (bottled water, non-flouride toothpaste) because the gummint puts fluoride in to suppress our psychic abilities. Since he's cut the poison out, when he plays his Android games he can almost always guess the next card that comes…

Oh god, me too. One has kids and u was like, if you really believe they're about to cull the population shouldn't you be trying to flee?

I'm pretty sure if a white American child were laying on a concrete floor soaking in its own piss and feces, you'd see a picture of that.

I have a feeling this is one you could get a lot of use out of

I can't explain any of this anymore. I also can't explain why it matters whether he tried to grab the cop's gun or not, Brown had his hands up, no one disputes this, so it is incontrovertibly a homicide and the cop should be in jail. I can't explain why the cops look like they should be patrolling the streets of…

I hope she makes a mint licensing this to Facebook and disqus

I have sat on Quetzalcoatl and talked to the mountain, and it was glorious. But it's not for everyone.

Krokodil is a helluva drug

Surprising, maybe, if it were any of my business what two consenting adults were doing.

Seriously, I was never in band, but if I was, this would be the band I would want to be in. Also I'm gay, I would either claim the mushroom stamp trick as my own or get to be best friends with that guy.

There are so many unfortunate stories that have the sentence "but you have to remember, they are wild animals, after all"

Well according to your article, I think maybe you can. If you can just get the time off every year to go live with them in the mountains of Austria.

you're a terrible person, and I love you

+1 for the top photo

One has to wonder what the translator is actually saying. I can't help thinking that's why the one guy "thinks it's f**king funny".

This has about as much effect on "Amazon's Plans for Drone Delivery" as an anti-leprechaun clause would have on Lucky Charms.

The older you get, the more this example resonates.

Heard it on a TV show the other day actually, bugged the hell out of me. I was picturing a hill with crosses on it bursting through the door.

And that is the very first animated comment GIF I have ever saved for future use