All you need to do is watch AD play against Embiid to see why he doesn’t want to play the 5. The dude absolutely shrinks when he has to play somebody physically.

Hanging a federal permit in a tree sounds like dumb advice.

His advice: Get a federal permit to kill one of the vultures, then hang it in a tree or other spot where other vultures can see it for miles around.

That’s a fair take, but I’d argue that they needed more to go on than same make and model car to draw their weapon. What if the suspect was driving a grey Toyota? Are they gonna draw guns on every driver on the road?

“Kobe was somewhere between the 7th-25th best player during his four good years; one of the worst players in the league for the next three, and didn’t suit up from 2016-2019. QED, he’s clearly a top-15 player for the decade.”

Ben, my tiny, tiny dude. “Just behind Brandon Jennings, and ahead of Jared Dudley” isn’t doing the work you think it’s doing.

I don’t know, is using Carmelo on defense ever a smart move?

Including Melo in the Westbrook/George category as a black mark against Presti might be the most unforgivable thing in this entire rant. I mean does this guy even watch basketball? 

Think of the hours her publicists billed to diffuse a situation they should have prevented.

Really, you just need to look at his background to see where this stuff comes from:

Those aren't redactions; they're tiger stripes. Go Bengals!!!!

This excerpt simply doesn’t make the book sound riveting. It’s incredibly bland. There’s no details of a conflict. It is merely “my son did something bad. my wife and I faced a mild hardship. my employers were understanding. one of the rich ones even offered me a house.” I don’t need gory details of what happened that…

I’ve always had great success with the “5 more minutes” (or “Oscar Mike in 5" as they came to know it), but the key was they got an update every minute.
The beauty of this was that this “5-minute” countdown could take 5 minutes, or it could be done in 2. As long as they got a countdown, “minutes” could go by as quickly…

Hey, hey I’m James Dolan!

How in the hell is that the face of a professional athlete? Jason Vargas looks like he picked up baseball after his pearl jam coverband disbanded. 

Such bullshit.  I only had one parent in the house I turned out (looks at deadspin commenting history)...touche, Chauncey, touche.  

Way to go mom. Dying when I was young so I couldn’t be raised right.

I don’t understand what it’s like being a Celtics fan with Dad without Teen Wolf references, so please include those in future posts.

From the fanciest black tie dinner party to the lowest gathering of hobos and drunks around a trash can fire, there is one thing that will alway remain true: people with guns ruin fucking everything.

It’s amazing how consistently Deadspin has been wrong about the NBA. Just off the top of my head, they criticized the Porzingis draft pick, called the Sixers rebuild a failure, ripped the Toronto Raptors multiple times on their way to a championship, and wanted the Pelicans to accept far less for Anthony Davis than…