Mary-Kate and Ashley _____.

LAWYERED!

Wow, is PLD a high-touch business partner. Just imagine what he's like as a friend.

This explains the precipitous fall of Pat Listach...

We need Tony Armas to finally be called out. Dude always homered in RBI Baseball.

We can never forget Steve Phillips posing as every team's GM in front of an all-ESPN press corps.

"Play artist Michael Bolton!"

You know, if you rearrange the letters in TJ FORD, you get MADE OF PLASTER AND SURE TO BE OUT OF THE LEAGUE BY 2010.

The guy from Ugly Betty writes sports columns?

This is going to provide enough material for, like, 15,000 episodes of Outside the Lines.

Ten bucks says Bill Parcells gets selected.

I swear I saw Derrick Thomas in there somewhere.

Was he disguised as Scott Boras? Is this how the A-Rod negotiations failed, too?

"... uh, and I guess we may as well make that our Hummer Press Pass, an all-exclusive look into some part of the world of sports we're hard-pressed to come up with in time for the segment's slot."

You're with me, tube top.

I'd hate to hear what he thinks about Wikipedia.

To keep it NFL-appropriate, each reference to "Mary Jane" will be replaced with longtime Charger and Bronco tackle Harry Swayne.

And AGAIN, the Pats went for it on fourth downs late in the game, rather than punting. Talk about classless.