I'm just really glad this is the scandal about Rob Ford's crack that ended up coming out.

As do all athletes whose sport is actually featured on ESPN:

I'm shocked to discover you don't like Obama.

Be a good sport. Stop running your mouth.

Man, these are the saddest Canadians I've seen since that one day I was waiting tables and we ran out of fried chicken and Colt 45.

Man, sports are just the fucking worst, aren't they?

PEOPLE WHO HAVE IT THE EASIEST, DUH.

Nothing like a late reach around after getting head.

"Guess what? The word n—-y h—-ed h-s, at least in Arizona, and where Don is from, means a hairstyle predominantly worn by African-American women. It means they have follicles on their scalp arranged like only such luminaries as Rosa Parks, Michelle Obama, and Nicki Minaj could fashion. So when Don made the comment…

It's fitting that the Wolf says that to a character played by John Travolta.

Embrace Defecate

*Shool

Why would he do that when he's making Easy Money writing shoddy newspaper articles?

Holy shit. This truly is the Zapooter film of our generation.

This is actually a pretty significant historical moment. It's the first time that a file named "inappropriate_touching_cardinal.gif" has been recovered from a computer outside of the Vatican.

Harper charged again after the baseball and this time discovered the out-of-town scoreboard.

See, to me, that goes against believing it was him. They would just slip out without the sound of flapping sphincters.

Because we didn't know the Spurs were going to play McGrady.

Dave Shyiak: That's it, Nick! I've had it! I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll kill your father!

horrible news. that accident scene must have been messy.