If it's a zero-zero ejection seat (meaning zero altitude, zero airspeed) they likely would have been pretty well injured from a plane at that pitch and altitude.

"Open the pod bay doors, Head"

I don't want to blow your mind, but not everyone who has sex is married. Furthermore, I doubt that that one suggestion is going to be the thing that saves a hundred million marriages. Not every married couple aspires to challenge the Duggars in procreative combat, either.

Kill everyone, burn the planet, gas the galaxy. Scorched universe policy.

If your fleshlight is alive at any point, you really need to start cleaning with bleach and fire.

My fridge. It keeps the beer cold and the breakfast sausage frozen. It's also a handy place to keep all my magnets.

>$787 million to replicate the Burj Khalifa (3,331,100 sq ft, 211 levels if you include maintenance and basement levels).

Can I print a butt? Like a butt with a butt on it. I don't care that it doesn't make sense, print it!

Grannies cappin nines in a sucka ain't no laughing matter. Don't ever turn your back on an old lady.

It's probably just the transmitter/battery pack for her lapel mic. I like the idea of geriatrics packing heat too much to ignore, though.

I have inkling feeling that you don't really know what 4G is. As such I'd like to offer you some 4G steak knives that NASA developed for cutting steaks on the moon.

Grannies get gats, bustas get capped. Belee dat.

It's handlebars for your dog. For when you ride on your dog like a motorcycle. Just don't try to use the kick start.

That phone is tired of your shit.

I think those are Jailbreak only.

I see it! It's a dolphin!

I shot down a blimp, 2 planes, a dozen helicopters, Santa Claus, and a pegasus. You're way behind dude.

You know what would be cool? If the app descriptions here included the size, so I can see at a glance whether I can download over the air or if I need wifi to get it.

Behind every great wall is a China.

Not gonna lie, I'd drive one of these everywhere. I wouldn't even keep my eyes open the whole time because the pillowtop Porsche guarantees that even if you injure someone, nobody would take the victim seriously. "Really? You called 911 after getting slapped by a pillow?"