Because Jalopnik is smart enough to realize there is an audience much, MUCH larger than just you, Pumpkin...

Obligatory FA post!

Worst forum shit storm ever seen? Easy. Go to any thread on Gawker or Jezebel, make a comment where you might appear to not be a left wing liberal nut job. You could tell them the sky is blue. However, if they even THINK you are a Republican (even if thats not the case), not only is the sky NOT blue, but you are an…

Anything Foxtrot Alpha writes where Russia is involved. It gets out of hand fast with the Putin Trolls.

Those crazy Americans thinking the best way to go is to use Satellites to triangulate some sort of global position system. Like that would ever catch on.

This one hasn’t been bored out though..

Just too many miles on her. Like my first wife. #BOOM!

4 cops with guns on me. Helicopter over my head. They won’t notice if I sliiddddeee to the right and help myself to this police car.

I wonder if she went up, left, down, right, up, left, down, right R1, R1, and got her grenade launcher back.

A spectacular idea everyone else is WRONG

Oh, I bet we can do good and still make SOME fun of each other.

Law and Order SUV

Proposed Jalopnik crime division: Jacopnik

10 horses isn’t bad. I routinely lose like 6 oxen just between Independence, MO and Willamette, OR.

Dynamic Jowls is the name I propose for modern design.

Shit

So, which is better? Actually being a vicious, racist thug who should have been put behind bars, or pretending to be a vicious, racist thug as a means of amassing a following and a fortune?

Men like this usually have nothing else going for them. It’s like the guys that complain how girls just don’t like nice guys. It’s not that they are being rejected because they’re nice (although a lot of them aren’t), they are being rejected because they have nothing else going for them.

The best sex I’ve had was with long term best friends. 10/10, would do again. Of course, I also didn’t sit around and never tell the other person my feelings. Nor did I wait till I was engaged to do all this.

The penis is a very persuasive part of the body.