He could talk to any woman living in Alabama with an unwanted pregnancy.

“TODAY was one of the WORST days I’ve had in a VERY long time.”
Imagine leading such a charmed life that the impact of the NBA Draft lottery could have this kind of impact on you.  I’m just saying Steven A. may gain some life perspective by talking to someone like Floyd Mayweather’s ex.

Thank you! Finally someone speaking sense!

Pelicans fan here. Everyone can kiss my ass he’s our hostage. 

Mediocre Western Conference teams get pantsed most nights, lose 50 games and earn tons of lottery balls. Mediocre Eastern Conference teams are in the mix for the eight seed.

Seriously, how is it possible that the Western Conference is both miles better than the Eastern Conference and somehow manages to get the top draft pick every year? 

You EXPECT something? Eat a bucket of fucks you shit eating dickhead!

I stay on my Nextdoor because one of the neighbors publicly accused another one of stealing a sewing machine from them and then trying to sell it on Nextdoor, and they took it public for some reason until they were each quoting the bible at each other. I hope for more content like that with every update. Other than…

I read the Drew’s today, oh boy
About a plucky man who named the rain
Another dude was rather fat
Well, I just had to laugh
I saw Chris Farley’s ass

A brew is noted for its can
It doesn’t matter if the Lite has changed
A row of people stood at Camden
Now, let me be clear
Nobody is really sure if lemons have two seeds or more

—Th…

Fucking Nextdoor.  It was kind of useful for a while, at least in our area, then it became the MAGA hangout where everyone posted about sightings of coloreds on their block.

A lot of these jabrones are run of the mill contrarians that don’t have any true belief system more expansive than the vague notion of being aggrieved.   Gamergaters in particular was born from an anti-meaning cause, almost a modern nihilism.

Now I kind of want the Blazers to win it all just to see what happens when he goes to the White House.

“Mohammed, there goes that Ramadan!”

While I’m certainly not glad Chris Farley is dead, if he was alive today he’d absolutely be a reactionary shitbag MAGA-chud. He did republican fundraisers while he was alive and pretty much that entire era of SNL has gone in the shitter as humans. So I’m glad I at least don’t have to see that. 

this is the “why don’t they make the whole plane out of the black box??!?” of NBA analysis

But at least it’s a franchise with better prospects than Detroit.

The ball going into the basket was quite a process.

I don’t give two shits about basketball but 1) that’s cool as shit and 2) someone in my timeline posted this and it’s a Top 10 all-time sports photo:

That ball spent so much time on the rim Derek Jeter just proposed to it