SO drunk.

And then there’s this:

We have consistently highlighted that Simmons by all accounts is an excellent manager.

Bill Simmons the boss seems like a pretty good dude, especially when you compare him to Coach Whitlock.

Patrick Pass.

You know, I didn’t really think there was a way that Goodell could screw this up, but here we are. All he really had to do was hand down the discipline and then let an independent arbitrator hear the appeal and probably scale the punishments back a bit. But the egotistical fuckwad has to insert himself into the…

Mouton also tells a similar story of when he sacked Tom Brady, and Brady told him he would, “Knock the wind out of him.”

This is exactly how I feel this morning and I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.

Every non-Patriots fan:

You’re a little slow on the uptake here. My wife already knew he was appealing.

What’s the point of even talking about this? We all Goodell is only going to suspend Mayweather two games unless there’s video evidence.

Lenny is the best. “Ow, my eye! I’m not supposed to get pudding in it!”

No love for Lenny?

Robert Kraft: We need an attorney, got any ideas?

Also the Tom they were talking about is Thomas Paine. They are real Patriots after all.

This is nothing. Wait until Simmons goes to Turner and Webber becomes his new best friend.

This is the absolute dumbest solution.

But surely there is love for Manolo?

Someone has to tranquilize him, and then a crew of four does it in two hours.