I would advise Donaldson not to monkey around with Gibbons.

And these new highways freed us from ever getting stuck in traffic again.

Mmm. Admittedly both God and the devil are in such details. But it isn’t being sent out to the jungle somewhere; although destined for a volunteer department, the context is a nation’s capital, population one million and part of the modern mechanized world.

It was essentially free.

There’s that famous Midwestern hospitality.

Andrew Luck always sounds like he just drank a bunch of milk and has that milk phlegm in the back of his mouth.

Or the fact that he says they were robbed by a cop.

LAWYER: You can never go back to Brazil.
Lochte: Man, but I really enjoyed Europe!

Heavy duty vehicles are the second biggest source of CO2 emissions in the U.S.

“Oh shit, there’s stickers!”

Peasants just don’t get it.

I mean, I work out in my Gucci top hat and diamond encrusted monocle. If you got it, flaunt it.

I saw Ricciardo’s Tweet late last night. I don’t know who’s worse, Lewis or some of his fans. There’s one fan who got his panties in a bunch over Ricciardo’s Tweet and it had me scratching my head . I hate to be what he/she is like when something doesn’t go Lewis’ way during a race.

Gotta show his reply.

It’s a very rare occasion we see something on his Twitter that seems sincere, it’s at those points that I think he’d be a cool dude off track. His publicity team is ridiculous in the stuff they post of him that’s obviously a bit fabricated.

Dear Chase, I feel like I can call you Chase because you and me are so alike. I’d like to meet you one day, it would be great to have a catch. I know I can’t throw as fast as you but I think you’d be impressed with my speed. I love your hair, you run fast. Did you have a good relationship with your father? Me neither.…

Yes, she is speaking on behalf of all black Americans.

Before you ask for it:

Yes, the bat hit the ump.

Ball joints and wheel bearings are absolutely considered normal maintenance.