The answers to both of your questions are literally in the first sentence of the article.

They were Western Conference Finalists. How is that not worthy of a banner?

I don’t think this is that rare of a thing, actually. I watch a lot of Nationals games, and I think Jonathan Papelbon must do it too, as players instruct him to ‘get fucked’ all the time.

If you are strictly results oriented this can only be construed as a failure but I consider myself a glass half full kind of guy so that’s why I say hey man nice shot, what a good shot man.

The backup plan was to douse the flame with water, but unfortunately this guy’s accomplice died before reaching the torch.

This is Deadspin...there’s even fucking Truther Truthers.

That was kind of the point

Sure, I would. But I’d also expect people to hate me for it, and I’d consider that hate the cost of doing business.

Why do you think he's crying?

We used to play Smash Brothers in our college dorm, and none of us had any grounding in Pokémon so we just made up names for the things that hatched out of the pokeball item. Some said their names intelligibly like Snorlax and Bulbasaur (sp?). Some... Not so much. To me, this Pokémon will forever be known as Floppy…

Yeah, they’ll let anyone in the bathrooms at Penn State.

About the paralysis around do-I-quit-or-do-I-not. You spend so much time worrying about what other people are going to think. What are they going to think of me, how is it going to look, when I’m the only one at this fancy fundraiser/wine tasting/birthday party/whatever with a seltzer instead of a glass of wine in my…

Don’t tell him that the Hawks also signed Dwight Howard.

I more mind the abundant stupid in Tebow than the Christianity. Nearly every American pol is a Christian, and oh...roughly half will constantly remind you of that fact. But he’s Palin dumb.

“Phew - dodged a bullet there!”

“We can’t go to North Carolina. They’re socially backwards and perverted for their stance on what goes on in the bathroom. Let’s go the Penn State.”

I don’t mind Christianity, I don’t even particuarly mind fundimental Christianity, but I will not be lectured on morals by anyone willing to support a narcissistic, hate-filled monster like Trump.

I suppose this is the inevitable start of Tim Tebow’s political career.

I don’t mind Christianity, I don’t even particuarly mind fundimental Christianity, but I will not be lectured on morals by anyone willing to support a narcissistic, hate-filled monster like Trump.