Meh. Probably for the best anyway. I have zero interest in going to titty bars now.

Chuck told us yesterday numbers don't matter.

How do you get to 5 stars and then get caught on the freeway?

Editor's note: We used the male pronoun in this piece because there has been no official confirmation from Jenner about a transition, nor has Jenner made clear any preference regarding pronouns. Please feel free to email me at marchman@deadspin.com if you have any questions or concerns.

Dan Patrick and Tony Kornheiser

Only thing missing was the Clint Eastwood voiceover. "America's about hard work, rollin' up your sleeves, and comin' on her chest.

An artist's depiction of Lily's editor hanging out in this comments section

Sometimes, when the atmospheric conditions in Arizona are just right, the fire alarm levers pull themselves.

Marvel Studios is giving us the colorful nearly-faithful adaptations of super heroes, Fox is going for the more sci-fi look and feel. I'm okay with that. The Fantastic Four has always been very science-y, and this movie is going to play that up. It wouldn't be any better or worse if they were wearing bright blue…

WE HAVE A REBUTTAL

Once you see how simple the mark is (in the video here: http://mmqb.si.com/2015/01/22/def…, it's a single capital L in what looks like a simple silver sharpie), you realize that the theory is VERY INTERESTING.

Pitchers want a rough surface so they can grip the baseball. A slick baseball being thrown at 95 mph is going to kill someone. That's why baseballs are coated with mud before games. While it technically illegal, teams won't call a bit of sticky stuff on a baseball until it becomes an obvious advantage which is super…

Ernie Banks also supposedly spent the winter between his MVP years moonlighting for the Harlem Globetrotters.

I disagree. They appear to be good at getting caught.

I've officiated. Its tough to feel a 2 psi difference if you're not really "handling" the balls. If you notice, the only official that really handles the ball is the Umpire who catches it and then tries to spot it down as fast as he can. To notice the difference, you really have to grab it and squeeze it a bit. Only…

You can, but swapping is a pain in the ass, so for those of us who have played enough hours to have tons of strange coins, it's probably worth it to dish out for a couple extra ice breakers.

I hope they're ready for lots of penises.

I'm fairly certain that only someone as big of an asshole as Q could have invented Jar Jar Binks....

All posts that begin with 'who cares?' are written by morons.

The most satisfying way to end a game of Smash (as Mario).