There is a difference between a guy jacking off and me motionlessly noiselessly doing what I did. Not going to get into the details of it but literally nothing moves so yeah unless they can see through the blanket in the dark when there's only one person in that section of the plane who's SNORING then yeah I can say…

Unless people have X-ray vision it's KNOW not think. Thank God I don't come from such a puritanical culture where that's something to be ashamed about let alone use such childish language as 'creepy' to discuss a normal human urge.

Why is it creepy? It was underneath blankets. When the lights were dimmed and the only person next to me was snoring.

So much easier for us ladies. Don't judge me but I've covertly masturbated on a plane before (no one cottoned on to it, and no not even maybe) because I'd just left my LDR boyfriend and was insanely horny.

To be fair, she's lost a lot of weight since she first became popular.

You're touching toilet door handles though that would have fecal matter on it.

Do people not know how to search by image on Google? Would render 99% of this column useless.

As much as people pan the Daily Mail (and not without criticism) they had some of the best foreign coverage of the recent hurricanes and that seems to be the case pretty often with them in terms of promptness with imagery and video.

Still legal in Denmark though!

The restaurant owner actually created the menu as an 'in-house joke' and the menu was never handed out to anyone at the function. One of the staff members put the fake one on Facebook.

UPDATE: This was not the menu that was handed out on the night of the function. A member of the staff doctored up this offensive version as a joke.

Yeah I saw Bruce and Brody Jenner on Extra yesterday and Bruce said he's met Kanye ONE time, and Brody's never met him. And she's marrying this dude!

Actually I stand corrected, apparently you can say both. Keep on keeping on.

It's burying the lede, not 'lead' fyi.

I'm Australian and I just have a really good memory so learnt it through watching tv. Good party trick in the US particularly when actual Americans forget the lyrics.

Grow up...

Ah, see I would do that but I just can't focus on reading literature (bar trashy mags) with all that hairdrying and chatter going on.

Ha. She's not curling her hair herself. What do most people do when they get their hair done?

Yet he's currently dating an even younger woman (Suki Waterhouse is only 20). So clearly he doesn't give a fuck about age differences.

Ok, I laughed.