Miley Cyrus makes me feel like having a tongue should be a privilege, not a right.

And when did James Van Der Beek get so damned insightful? He shocked the pants off of me.

Okay.... but can we talk about the problematic and racist nature of her performance? Her literal use of people as props? Her association of her newfound sexuality with the traditional codifiers of black female culture, thereby perpetuating the Jezebel stereotype that black women are lewd, lascivious and uncontrollably…

"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"9/11."
"9/11 who?"
"YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!"

I want to make a joke about third degree dancing burns, but I'm too busy practicing my hip'n'shoulder move for Da Club. Hot pants are pending.

"Looks like this troll's..."
[takes off sunglasses]
"...on ice."
(YEEAA-)
[slips on ice, cracks head open like a melon on ice, oh the blood, oh my god the blood, so much blood and brains and vein tissue everywhere, Jesus Christ there are children here, oh his eyes - HIS EYES - one is looking right at me, oh dear sweet…

"Not that you're going to eat those delightful little lard-filled butter bombs, mind you! That's for fat people! No, you're going to ask your driver to take them down to the nearest soup kitchen, where he's to light them on fire in front of dozens of hungry children. You'd do it yourself, but you need time to grab a…

What is this arm doing?

Or, you just get used to living with other people's nonsense and develop a higher tolerance. This is NOT the same thing as improved communication and conflict resolution skills; it's really just growing much thicker calluses. I'm from a big family, have a big family, and am married for more than a decade - so I'm not…

Finally, validation.

Her music really is perfect for Top 40 stations — catchy but bland enough that you don't notice that you're hearing a song for the 3rd time in two hours. I don't mind her music, it's her personal belief that she's iconic and groundbreaking and a ~*REAL REBEL*~ that irks me. If she just kept churning out two and a…

Your mom must be a blogger.

The Fame Monster was AMAZING and everything she has put out since has sucked. Born this Way was so cliche and Madonna-rip off. I also sometimes feel like her relationship with the LGBT community is almost like shes using them to sell albums. Ugh she just seems so contrived.

How come when she does it, it's art and she looks great and when I did it as a 4 year old, my mom yelled at me for eating paint?

Having watched the video on mute, this is what I got out of it

[waves a pitchfork]

Do you have Azealia Banks' "212" on your workout playlist? I swear that song is both super catchy and super motivating. I also like Peaches "Fuck the Pain Away"...actually I'm just really into filthy pop when working out and also when not working out.

I'm 18 and felt pandered to.
"What do them kids like these days? Oh, those darn smiley face picture do-jiggers on their texterphones! Let's use those!" Also, Katie Perry is awful.

The emoticons in that Katy Perry video seriously need to get the fuck off my lawn.