I know I am getting old when I have no idea who these people are.

Reading, reading, reading: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND?!?

One guy in the crowd:

Those aren't even dog names. They're like, names a 5-year-old would give a fish.

They also have some sort of deal of Kris Kardashian.

In America, the male presents his python/anaconda and the female either rejects him or

See I actually think cardigans are fine. It's the assumption that they make a woman dorky for frumpy that's funny.

I feel like there should be vegas style odds on this.

You laugh, but how long before she claims she's being targeted by liberal groups with authority over Alaska State Troopers?

His lawyer used the words "pseudo-tribal psychological voodoo" in an attempt to explain what happened? Done with this world.

Ah yes. I always make sure to produce a tiny human to fully back up the image of my sham-marriage.

Blind Gossip reports that pretty much every relationship between two famous people is a business arrangement. It really doesn't matter if it's true or not, because there's no way to find out, and then when they break up, they can say they were right. Because real couples never break up, only fake ones.

I would not enjoy doing that. So, she kicks ass to do it for me.

:( I know, right? May I offer you some adorable kittens to improve your spirits?

Anna Kendrick had the funniest tweet about seeing the photo of Charlize in the same dress:

Her personality is beige.

Typical, get caught saying something stupid and then backtrack and blame the media. She would make a great Republican presidental candidate.

I'm not advocating it, but that is a problem you can solve yourself, Lana.