OH MY GOD I AM SO SURPRISED BY THIS NEWS

Would you please take your bestie to happy hour and buy her a cocktail for all of us replying on this thread? She deserves a cocktail.

My best friend is a 5'3" tiny woman, and she runs all the time. Once she was alone and a dude on his bike smacked her ass. So she shoved him off his bike and yelled, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT WEARING A HELMET, ASSHOLE!!!" and then ran off.

Actually, if my dog barks when she's not meant to, I instantly tell her to stop. And then if she doesn't I pull her aside from the thing she's enjoying and stare her into submission, in a "are you fucking kidding me" way.

"Yea, silence has always been the most effective when trying to stop people from behaving terribly, just look in a history book!" Said no one ever.

There is no such thing as a good white rap parody video.

I am so glad we can post images again, because mere words cannot express my feelings on this subject.

Like the public doesn't have enough to be outraged about already, we need to start ragging on the President like this is an extra-douchey episode of Fashion Police? Guys, Joan Rivers is gonna be just fine... leave this shit to her.

Labor Day is Monday! He's well within his rights to wear this. People are just looking for a reason to pick on Barry!

I promise not to write an excel spreadsheet of all the times you didn't give me the sexin' I want and send it to your work email.

$200.

Did you finish reading the joke? You should finish reading the joke, it's funny.

Awful. +1

That is so homophobic to suggest that he's going in last "so as not to make them feel uncomfortable." Unbelievable.

So he's remaining aloof-a?

That is a great idea! Much better than mine, Menstrual Flo(w) from Progressive.

I for one am thrilled that I can be both Katy Perry and Britney Spears at the same time for Halloween.

It's the least she could do after destroying all those homes with that wrecking ball in the first place.