Why is talking about the reality of what Black women face anti-Black male? We are always told we’re being divisive when we talk about what’s going on. It’s a great way to silence us and nothing has to change. This has nothing to do with white people and what they want.

If someone can write something that explains something in a way so people can understand better, it’s not a bad thing. We have to stop rearing up and striking out at people who are obviously trying.

I get that you’re trying to equate cosmic phenomena with human-driven climate change. But instead of doing that, you should kill yourself.

It will fix quite a bit but solar flares are outside of our control.

Yep - when I was raped by my boyfriend, I never went to the police or even vocalised it. For years.

I have told you I don’t want to discuss anything with you like four times.

And I cant understand how women don’t call out that bullshit at all times.

It would be nice if kinja allowed you to flag users as “this asshole defended raping someone.”

The friendzone also seems predicated on the idea that you’ve been rejected romantically but you’re going to stick around and wear the person down or prove them wrong.

It’s almost like she’s experienced a lifetime of being told it’s her moral obligation to make people feel good and that it’s selfish to do what is right for her.

I am a rape survivor so I find your comment useless.

A brilliant and beautiful friend of mine once paraphrased it as, “There may be people who say ‘No’ when they really mean ‘Yes,’ but I like to negatively reinforce that behavior by not having sex with them.”

Because after all, these days she’s “not so sure” that it was “her fault”... So if she decides now that it wasn’t her fault, it’s not hard to connect the dots. Who do you think she will believe the fault lies with?

... but now I’m gonna try to make a long-winded case about it actually being his fault

I don’t disagree that she consented and this is a case of regret and not rape.

Man, I largely agree with your assessment about after-the-fact consent and the author’s willpower/lack of accountability, but I don’t think that’s the point?

...yet.

But to suggest or imply that this particular situation is rape by virtue of the fact that you wish you didn’t do it *after* the fact and you wish you didn’t give consent *after* the fact is complete bullshit.

Thank you so much for writing this piece. It helped me feel less alone after several months of having my boundaries pushed and becoming really mindfucked by the whole situation. I, too, felt like I was alone and if I were a strong woman I could better stick to my boundaries. I’m wondering if you are aware of resources…