Kourtney is “pregnant with Bieber’s baby.

All hail Davos. First, second, and third dragon head, king of the badasses who may be mermen, breaker of boring Stannis cannons, and only one not to get laid

ive already been practicing my takes, you’re welcome everyone who gets to read them twice:

#HappyInternationalWomensDay

SO WILL CARL (spoilers?)

I know the term is an umbrella for all methods of recording, but I still picture the olds recording on video cassettes, using sharpies to label them “M*A*S*H* eps 5& 6" so the kids don’t get into them.

My brain insists that they're cheese.

Give me Princess Valhalla Hawkwind any day of the week

I have always loved her, since the Alias days, and I love her even more now. “Bless his heart.”? Hahahahahhahaha. You go, Jen. I may watch 13 Going on 30 tonight when I'm drunk with my visiting bestie in her honor.

She dropped “Bless his heart.”

Somebody should do a totally straight-faced neck contouring video that ends up making you look like you have faintly visible vestigial gill slits.

And then they’ll accuse you of being “too P.C.”

1. “I don’t play like that” lol OK own it

A Boob Barker, if you will?

I don’t even have a kid to thank for my lopsided boobs. These are ALLLL genetics, baby.

Well, yeah, obviously it’s a racist argument. I mean, the “states’ rights” that they were arguing for was the right to own black people.

When in doubt, go back to primary sources.

I find that the Southern States’ articles of secession are pretty illuminating on that subject.

TL;DR: They loved slavery and hated states’ rights - specifically, that other states weren’t enforcing the Fugitive Slave laws.

Yep, “states’ rights”. States’ rights to keep slavery legal, more like it. (I’m a fellow Bitter Southerner and boy, do they get mad when I point out this distinction.)

Yep. Northern aggression. And Gettysburg didn't happen when Lee invaded Pennsylvania.