I heard that in Cheryl’s voice.

Wow. Being a dick can really take a toll on your looks.

I think Saving Private Ryan is really overrated and the people who try to convince me otherwise always say that it’s important because it depicts how brutal war really is. And I have to say “I have an imagination - I don’t need to SEE someone getting his head blown off on a beach to realize it would suck!” After the…

Empathy is essentially imagination. Imagining the circumstances of other people’s lives, and imagining how we might feel under those circumstances, imagining what their motivations are, and thus (hopefully) arriving at a deeper understanding of other people. And imagination is a skill that can be honed with practice.…

Okay, I will let out a little secret about being empathic; it hurts. Sometimes your empathic abilities will automatically conform to the crowd or if you are really lucky and in control, allow you to control the emotions of the room. The latter is about the best you can do in any situationv however. It’s not just the…

I do think that some people come by it more naturally than others, though. I remember being a young child and pulling up grass, then feeling the dead material beneath it. I think that’s when the reality of “everything dies” hit me, and i hit hard. I used to cry because there were so many endangered animals I couldn’t…

Boca Raton is where your soul goes to die.

Actually he’s soon going to announce his third term and we won’t have elections because he will have named himself Supreme Leader Czar and then there will be a Great Race War and something something something my 401k won’t be worth as much.

If he keeps going at this rate for his second term, all humans will be immortal by October 2016.

I LOVE NOT IN MY HOUSE FUCK ALL YALL TOUR OF AMERICA OBAMA

“When I think of what he’s accomplished I just feel lazy, you know? He’s studying Criminal Justice at Rutgers and when he was a baby he was one of those kids with flies all over his face.”

Howl into THAT abyss for a while, Natalie.

I have this shirt and wear it often; it embodies me.

More quotes from people who don’t understand how words work:

transgenders

“You’re smarter than me, knock it off.”

Fine. If I can’t say sorry or just, Fuck will replace them. I am fucking checking in. I am fucking following up. Fuck, pardon me.

"The first thing that's going is this fucking bat-cave".

Lol. Maybe they need to break out the smelling salts after all the pearl-clutching and panicked breathing.

To the person with the “Not just gay..... Ecstatic” sign.