VW WISHES his dick popped out again. They probably asked him to whip it out, just to get something else in the news.

A vast, empty room. Large enough to fit several elephants that no one from Volkswagen wanted to discuss at the moment.

I mean I get that it was a serious finger injury, but 10 days in ICU seems more appropriate for a horrific car accident or heart failure or something like that. I dunno. I just feel like I’m missing something.

Fallon spent 10 days in the ICU for a hurt finger? Is that a joke?

like herding ignorant cats

‪”I feel like that is the untold story of this data leak—how many people just aren’t getting a sexual connection they want. And rather than talk about how people could solve this problem, everyone is just moralizing.”

Oh absolutely. But we can’t leap to these conclusions about the wife, either. Her libido may have died for reasons that don’t have anything to do with him. Maybe their chemistry together just stopped working. We have no idea what their story is.

Can you do a similar piece with a woman on A.M? The only similar-ish story I found on here was about a woman who actually had an arrangement with her husband who had medical issues. I’d like to see if the responses are similar from the commentariat.

I read it as, he hadn’t been actively trying to get laid with strange at the time. Which, actually is the best way to get laid.

Next week will be Revenge, so while not light, it’ll definitely be cathartic.

The truly American thing would be to charge for ketchup but give your richer customers loopholes to pay much less for it.

Wouldn’t free ketchup actually be commie? Charging for it is very American and capitalist.

I thought that too, but who gets so much pleasure from fucking with McD’s employees that they’re willing to spend hundreds of dollars and an hour of their time in the service of a prank? If no one is actually going to eat all that food, and it was just a prank, well...that’s commitment.

uh huh

Just a tad. Scarcasm doesn’t come across well when you use bullet points.

The comparison to parents defending violent kids makes it hard to tell the tone of your reply. Regardless, I just kind of wanted to use the Foghorn image :)

“My husband and I are vegan. My daughter is vegetarian and both of them are allergic to gluten, lactose, shellfish, soya, onions, peppers and GM foods.” I’m assuming the kids survive on eating air, then. Assuming it’s not red air, cause they’d probably be allergic to that too.

You decided to point-by-point tell people why this joke was “incorrect.” xD

*WHOOSH*