BREAKING: White Guy Continues To Fail Upward On Wave Of Hipster Bullshit

Juuling. Congratulations teens, you now have an addiction. Take it from me, you don’t want this monkey on your back, because it never completely leaves. Ever. 30 years later and it’s still with me. It never leaves completely, you only learn to manage it after gut-wrenching hard emotional work, gallons of tears, and…

I know how you feel.

You sure are an aggressive person on a keyboard. I expressed a muted opinion not an edict. Chill man, life is too short, especially at the end of my 71 year old tunnel.

Being an engineer, it depends on the party.

Are their people who didn’t love Inglorious Bastards? Certainly no a fan of all his works, but that movie was phenomenal

Little known fact: The reason Canadians are so nice is we use arcane and unholy rituals to channel all our rage into the geese. We tried channeling it in renewable energy, but it was unstable and the byproducts weren’t nearly as biodegradable as goose poop. Although they were every bit as green and revolting.

Rosemary duck fat potatoes... I even had a cheating vegetarian eat them once!

At the moment, I’m sous-videing a duck (two flattened halves) wrapped in bacon. In a few minutes I’ll take it out, remove the bacon (to be browned, cooled, and mixed with vanilla ice cream for dessert), save the combined fat (of course), and quickly brown the duck skin in the oven. The combination of duck & bacon…

SO you are basically telling us you got goosed :) Whenever I have cooked goose (my goose is cooked :) ) I usually added dried fruit to the bird in the body cavity .. the sweetness offsetting the “richness” of the goose.

You make having a sous-vide sound indispensable and this goose might just tip the scales for me.

My lord, Claire. Your writing has always been wonderful, and the food you talk about sounds amazing, but this is the first time I find myself frantically calling local shops to find me something ASAP! I need me some sous-vide goose in my life!

When I played golf, I carried a 2-iron in my bag just to keep the geese away.

This goose was my muse. I ate my muse.

It’s basically a huge duck with the attitude of a turkey.

/furiously scribbles sous-vide goose onto must-eat list

Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat, please to put a penny in the old man’s hat. 

Your friends need to actually read the directions then. You double click and scan your face, then place it by the reader. They can have the double click and face scan done as they approach the terminal and then it’s just a simple wave of the phone at the reader.

Have an iPhone X. FaceID works smoothly for the most part. You don’t have to click or aim anything: it wakes up with a tap of the screen* and the sensor has a pretty good range.