Ummm, zap? I'm out of clever electricity jokes :(

Nah, it was one of those vibration chairs like you see at the mall. Have you ever tried to get out of one of those while it was running? IMPOSSIBLE.

You know, as a Nigerian prince, this shit is getting old. Do you know how hard it is for me to send an email to ANYONE without the message getting sent to the spam folder? This is discrimination.

I don't know, the story just doesn't seem to have that spark.

Is that why my new Texas Instrument calc has a pdf of the Holy Bible on it?

His home-made ghetto electric chair didn't work? Shocking.

I've got tons of Tokyoflash watches that are almost totally illegible. For me it's not about needing to tell the time but rather about being able to wear a flashy bracelet and still feel secure in my manhood.

Looks cool, and I like the idea of two things that don't really go together (mostly because it means good things for my easychair / trash compactor supply business) but damn girl, that cable is UNSIGHTLY. The minimalist look would be totlly delightful if it didn't have that gross sperm tail squirting out the back.

Oh man I blew it!

Wait, what? You'll wear toe shoes but draw the line at toe socks?

You know, Larry Ellison did the EXACT SAME THING to me a couple years ago! Took me for a walk around his beautiful property, sold me on Oracle, and when we ended up in his house checking out the view and he told this all could be mine.

@cicrockets : Fun with acronyms!

This is impressive, but I'm waiting for the University of Manitoba to finish their Heavy Ultra-Boron Reaction Interference Scope. They're attempting to make a black hole in the wilds of Canada. What could go wrong?

Ha!

I tip my hat to you sir.

Stealing someones central air unit in the summer? That's cold.

There's a coin slot joke in there somewhere...

You're going to have a blast. One tip I have: Go to panels you might not think you would want to. Last year my girl and I went to the The Other Guys panel and it was AWESOME. Wahlberg, Ferrell and Mendes were riffing the entire time, teasing people who asked questions and generally being hilarious.

"Upshift while sliding"? OMG hasn't he ever heard "when in doubt, both feet out"!? Awful.

Like a pair of nuts?