"Listen," said the parents and the school in a joint statement, "If this were an issue of a promising young football player playfully raping another student, certainly we could look the other way. But this isn't that. This is a violent crime of an evil teenager consensually having sex with a slightly younger teenager.…

You know, I'd love the thought of being all Xena on someone who pisses me off whenever I hit a PMS bump but the reality of it is, I probably look like a twitching, frantic pug.