Bagel thins are the product I used to work on! They have almost no nutritional value. And the same company that makes them, also makes bread. So they win either way.

YES, THIS!

Are you a whore in the kitchen and a cook in bed?

Today I'm 100 days sober!

YOLO!

I'm in advertising, so I help make it even more confusing. I've worked on unhealthy products who want to seem healthy. So we end up writing, "Get back in those skinny jeans," leading people to think a bagel will help them lose weight. It's all a lie and I have no idea how the average person would know what is and…

Nutritional science is such a mess in terms of issuing confusing and contradictory statements. I wonder whether studies like these do any good. I asked a doctor pal of mine why this is so and she just said that analyzing the data is complicated.

Do people over the age of nine really need someone to tell them that drinking every day is bad?

I'm pretty sure white wine is the drink of choice for people who are trying to quit drinking. So, I mean, maybe you could use white wine to beat your red wine habit.

Red wine is only dangerous when you bring the bottle to your mouth too fast and you accidently chip a tooth.

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

YES. i bought the skeleton one. it is coming in the mail and i am so excited.

Bah! The Koala and Owl costume are all kinds of cute sexy!

this seems like as good a time as any to reminisce about halloween 2004, when i was groped while exiting the L train by a large man dressed as tinkerbell.

Don't be a drunken jerk. Don't puke on people. Don't be racist. Don't touch people who don't want to be touched, and don't steal things from house parties or bars. Don't knock people's shit over. Don't take a coat that isn't yours. Don't throw up in the back of a cab...

All of these questions make me feel super old.

EXACTLY.

Scary story time:

I'll lose it when (if) I'm ready to lose it. And not a moment before then.