Here's A Story About Richie Incognito Beating A Really Nice Dude

♫ Goodnight, Lady
Goodnight, Lady
Goodnight, Lady
I Don't Recognize My Wife ♫

Lurking in the background: Friar Santa Claus.

The A's also wanted to take pictures in the bathroom, but their stadium doesn't have any.

Photographer: Let's get one of you in front of the mirror, Coach Washington.
Washington: Nice, shall I pull it off the wall or can you?

Unfortunately, this response falls outside the chain of title, and will not be catalogued for posterity.

Fourth, and most importantly:

Third, and this is for Raysism, if you took all the night after gift baskets Derek Jeter has dispensed in his career and lined them up in one long row—THAT is how far I can punt a football.

How far can you punt a football?

I agree, Jay Bilas deserves a raise.

You should be denied service with no explanation and we will see how you react.

Louisville said coach Bobby Petrino "is aware of the situation."

Piss-poor performance by United. Just imagine if they had played Bayern Munich, Real Madrid or Glen's Auto Body and Collision FC.

Sam: "I dunno, Coach. Even washed-up golfers are giving me shit. This is a really difficult time for me..."

Carter was later seen leaving the arena with his ear in a sling.

"His motor is fine" - South Carolina State Police

Another Jalopnik cross-post? Enough already.

Cleveland fans would find his freewheeling pants budget disgraceful.

Hi my name's Brian.