They may take our lives, but they'll never take our right to drink drawn butter.

I'm going to need a .gif of Jessica Williams slow clapping, stat.

How dare you suggest that women are people.

Why read when one can just look at the pictures?

Have you seen the movie Pain and Gain? It's on Netflix. Upon watching it I chose to rename it 'The Quintessential Adventures of Florida Mans' because it's so, so Florida.

Thank you, Mark, for making me laugh super hard just now, twice. Also thank you, Universe, for making me very aware of my diva cup at almost all times of insertion. Maybe I didn't sleep well last night, but I sure as shit won't forgetfully go more than 12 hours without resetting the plug.

I fucking love them.

I, too am disappointed that Gawker employees appear to have never met a sailor before.

Wow, nothing says "I am a classy bro who is most definitely about to be famous" like repeatedly tweeting what amounts to 'lol ur fat'.

It sounds crazy but it JUST MIGHT WORK!

Staring contest!

Once upon a time, I suffered a job in real estate. I hated it. I helped rent shitty apartments in nice parts of the city for insufferable people. Shortly before I quit, I rented out an apartment to someone that apparently I didn't look closely enough at. She came in to our office, filled out our paperwork, and handed…

Oh man, similar thing happened to me. Only I had been on vacation for a week, and my replacement wasn't at my desk, she was still in orientation. But I'd seen them interviewing. I'd hoped very much that the help I had asked for over the past two years was finally being hired, but nope.

Why the hell didn't the guy who got sent out call 911? jeez.

If only he'd brought a gun. Texas, amirite?

great input, I guess

Once upon a time I was a forum moderator. Blocking IP addresses, email addresses, and usernames were available tools and we did not hesitate. People kept coming. Discourse kept happening. Still is, I just don't moderate there any longer.

I read Jezebel and Gawker daily, and I hadn't noticed. (however I do so on a platform that allows me to choose which gifs play, at least) As such I just wanted to say thanks, you all are doing a great job and I'm sorry you have to deal with such BULLSHIT.

This is the kind of woman who yanks someone else's IUD out without asking.

I'm not taking anymore television advice from this site. I started watching Scandal because of Jezebel, and I regret every frustrating minute of watching it.