Can I just say that everyone is super glad when you "turn around and walk right out?" Your friends probably hate going out to restaurants with you. Unless they're just as awful.

"some deserve zero and a snotty note on the receipt."

You're calling bullshit when this guy actually ran a no-tip restaurant for 6 years and you have done what, exactly?

Don't be silly, you should never do something like that to "please" someone. You post that shit on the internet and charge them for it. ;)

You guys! I got mostly Bs... Am I a Lesbian?

I swear, we black women are just the brunt of every joke. The bottom of the barrel. We are whores and mammy's. Fat, ugly and snappy. It's bad enough that the world seems fine in believing this but it sucks that black men jump on the bandwagon to perpetuate it. This is just sad. My ancestors lived a life that you can't…

When I was a stripper it was totally normal/ expected for a man to get an erection during a lapdance. Coming in pants? NOT NORMAL/ disgusting/ never happened because my clients were actually really respectful and nice.

I actually am a stripper. Speaking for my experience, most of the guys I'm dancing for will get hard at some point during our interaction. That's fine with me and what I imagine is partially the patron's goal for our interaction. If I've decided to grind on a guy and I feel his erection, that's fine too - as long as …

HELL NO I don't wan't a boner jabbing me in the ass! For crying out loud. Even if I liked the guy. That's just... weird. Screams lack of control to me. Also more often than not I'm not really *that* into the dude; I'll dance with a cool guy but that absolutely does not mean I want to have sex with him.

PLEASE do not let your boner poke people you're dancing with on the dance floor unless you know each other, have that kind of relationship, and know that she wants your boner poking her.

"Hi honey, I'm home. What's this? Oh, those are the jizz-catching shorts I wear when I blow a load in my pants at the local titty bar, no biggie. What's for dinner?".....a conversation that has and never will happen in reality.

"Where it is often unwelcome"

Before I go, I'd like to tell you about my neighbor's cousin's dog walker's boyfriend who made thousands investing in Capital Letters and Proper Punctuation. Follow this link for details: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/grammar-girl

Using the power of the internet, my friend financed her 2014 Reince Priebus at a great low rate and for no money down!

Guess what? The women who get pissed when you don't hold doors open for us or pay the whole dinner bill aren't feminists.

DONT FORGET THE CRAB LEGS!

More importantly, no one's been looking for it.

I need an extra-large handbag to store all of my shame. Don't forget the shame!

Well, obviously us fatties need big handbags, to carry all our Cheetos and ribs and milkshakes in! Oh and brownies! And all our not-exercising.

Exactly!