Try tomato aspic, with basic mayonnaise on top (that you made, preferably, but you can doctor Hellman's with a little good olive oil and a little lemon to surprisingly good results.) Tomato aspic is gooood.

No, see, that's why it's crazy! Fried chicken and watermelon do unite the races! They even uplift the races! Every food that's stereotypically "black" or "soul food" is just...Southern food that black and white people eat in the South. Yea, down unto the very last baked macaroni and cheese, the last pound cake, the…

I was a dumbfuck? Dakota is doing dumb shit? I'm on board with all this here. I was being a fucking moron. I've been clean since 1996 and I recommend NA to dumbasses everywhere. My ex really did have over 30 partners by the time we started going out and we were 19, though, and he really was cutting a swathe through…

Also, she has a fucking incredible rack. Really. Her boobs are just...amazing. Not that she isn't generally one of the most beautiful people on the planet but daaaamn. Although that makes me feel sad now because when my 12-year-old daughter asked me 6 months ago or so who the most beautiful woman in the world was (we…

I have a rough, working theory that the ones who are going to grow up to be male models get more handjobs at 13 than the other 13-year-olds. My ex was dating a HS senior girl when he was 13, and that girl was lucky as fuck. He had many bad qualities (emotionally abusive, serial cheater, heroin addict) but he had…

WHO IS THIS??!! TELL ME NOW!

I am just in the process of introducing my 12-year-old daughter to the magic of David Bowie. She's super-into "Five Years," "Ziggy Stardust," and "Starman," because duh. I explained that her grandmother, her beautiful aunt (my little sister, 11 years younger than me), and I had all nursed life-long crushes on David…

I agree. I was shocked to see rice all up in there with a Snickers bar. I live in Singapore, where people are admittedly getting fatter. But they're not getting fatter on a traditional Singaporean diet, not even on the most fattening dishes, like char kway teo, which has wide rice noodles fried with beef and cockles,…

There's a lot of people belittling the amount you drink or the extent of your problem in comments. You're the only person who can tell whether you have a drinking problem. But in my experience, if you even sort of think maybe you have a drinking problem, you have a drinking problem. Because you're going to bullshit…

OK, posted in two parts because Kinja hates me. Really, I don't know, and even though we'd gotten in fine, we were afraid to go more than two stories down into it for fear we would get some serious arrestage underway. And we were holding, like a bunch of dumbasses. I just...it's some steampunk shit, for real. It's at…

This is all actually totally true. The lamppost supplies were for all these empty buildings in Alphabet City. There were a lot of normal 4-and 5-story walk-ups and brownstones and even old synagogues that were abandoned en masse in the 80s and 70s. Still in the early 90s people were squatting there and there were…

I actually had a job too, but not 30 hours a week. In a bookstore in Rockefeller center, that my aunt owned (that is literally nepotism! Well, I'm a girl, so not a nepotes, technically, but whatever). 15-20 hours. Like I say, I kept that GPA at the upper limit! Not a lot of rowing though, no. Not a lot of coming at 5…

Yeah, we were kind of weird. You could buy all the supplies to make meth (the ones that you couldn't steal from the OrgChem lab) at a humorous selection of stores. They used to have these nasal inhalers made of plastic that you could push up into your nose that were full of benzedrine. And you could get ether at the…

One option certainly is to allow female astronauts to acknowledge: "hey, I'm aware that I am being exposed to heightened risk of cancer, which is in fact rather small in comparison with my heightened risk of death from blowing the fuck up." We let people drive race cars. We let people be professional heavy-weight…

I am unusual among woman in having a pretty terrible body image problem, so—oh wait, no, I'm pretty normally abnormal. Sadly, comments like that would make me feel secret triumph. Much like "eat a sandwich." I'll be "ha! Nice try, sandwich recommender! I'm having salad for dinner again!" Uh, yeah, time to talk to my…

I'm sorry they were so rude to you, that's just unforgivably unpleasant, demonstrates an utter lack of manners, and an absence of common sense! Don't they want...um...customers? When I first moved here to Singapore I had a Freaky Friday type thing happen. I went into the Levi's in Ngee Ann City (a fancy-ass mall that…

I think here is where obsessive thinness really kicks into gear as a status marker. You can't be "hot" in the way associated only with the young, but you can remain extremely slender—but only by fighting your body's metabolism all the way. Older women often end up weighing much less at 50 than they did at 25, in a…

I just wanted to say thanks for sharing your story here with us in a public forum, because it's a brave thing to do. I am so, so sorry that happened to you. I can only imagine how looking in a mirror and seeing the face of someone who violated me in that way would feel—I'd probably want to scrub my nose off sometimes.…

I went to Columbia around then and my friends and I spent all our time making meth with stolen OrgChem supplies (I still haven't watched Breaking Bad but obviously it's my destiny), using the profits to buying heroin and 8-balls of coke on 7th St between Avenues B and C, at the Laundromat, and going to after-hours…

How was this ever not a gang rape and murder trial, though? They disemboweled her with a lead pipe, and then she died. That's murder. 17-year-olds can straight-up murder someone in broad daylight in front of the police station and walk after 3 years? If that were so, every criminal gang in all of India would train…