My brother's new fianceé, as it happens, is named Molly! So you kind of made me laugh, I was like, "hey Molly, yeah, that shit was cray, right?" She is a normal person from Montana, not a dumb-ass rich person. My kids love her, but the rest of my family isn't dead keen, but we just want my bro to be happy, so as long…

No dude, you shouldn't feel silly you had to Google it! I should feel embarrassed for bringing it up. I can only say in my defense that it was relevant. Seriously, it's like a dick thing to say, but there's no other easy way to explain the crazy.

Sadly to say, it doesn't smell musty, because there's this one super-amazing dry-cleaning place in Paris that people often (and by people again, here, I mean individuals whose IQ: bank balance ratios are OFFISH NOT OK) FedEx their clothes to to get them dry cleaned just that most awesome way ever. Like, every week.…

Ah, well, reasonable question! You must accept as the premise that these are my fellow Social Register...fuck, nitwits? What can I say without indicting all of us. She's a Frick, basically (while my family is Styuvesants, way more awesomely if not coming with any cash, and Goulds which you would think would be more…

If you have to explain jokes, then they clearly sucked. If you have a UTI it's sometimes because your urethra itself was irritated and it certainly results in terrible pain when you pee. Eleuthera, for real, is a long thin island that has almost no fresh water and is, as a result, much less populated now then when I…

There are water quality issues sometimes, what with brackish water seeping into the slender aquifer, yes.

Come now, surely some people know about Eleuthera? Easily the best beaches in the Caribbean. St Barthes can eat a big fat Bahamian dick.

My brother is going to be married for the second time, so they're thinking of keeping things really simple, and doing a destination/cruise thing wedding on the QE2 transatlantic crossing (towards the UK) where they get married by the captain. He's not the worlds biggest jerk or anything, at all, because he's only…

As a...god, I have body dysmorphia so bad that I was really waffling on saying I'm thin and I'm a size 4—OK AS A THIN PERSON this is totally right on. Like many people, I have also been both overweight (hi post-natal depression after baby #2) and thin. The only body shaming issue I ever experience, in either case is fe…

Oh, yeah, it's like about how animals can smell fear. Children can 1000% tell when you are a) annoyed that they have said a bad word but b) dying because they said it about such a wrong thing in such a hilarious way. If they sense this latter thing they will do it again and again, because they want to make you laugh…

I see a Kickstarter here, people!

Why yes, yes you could. Then you could switch up the shorts, too.

I didn't really know, so much, that I could make this face. Because I am a very extroverted, smiling person, who will just talk to strangers. But then I had several friends report to me that when they first saw me (but hadn't yet met me) that I looked "intimidating." And now that my children are more grown up they can…

My mom's mother Nan (her actual nickname because her brother couldn't pronounce her name "Janet" and called her "Nanette" as in the popular (to their parents) song "No-no-Nanette") actually looked pretty much exactly like this, except with dark hair. But she drank bourbon. Unless she was going to play a tennis match…

Mmmmm, yeah. I was trying to feel charitable coming out the gate, but I take it back Let's crush smirkface up there like a helpless insect, along with all those other fuckers.

Oh, shit, that's awful.

Yes, this is so right on. I have done both. I have totally frozen/giggled nervously and got the hell out. I have also pushed someone off me and screamed "if you try that again I am going to punch you in the face and break your fucking nose!" Yay, me, right? Well, sort of. I felt almost worse after that than after the…

What's sauce for the gander is sauce for the goose? But no, two wrongs don't actually make a right. The best thing would be to name and shame a) the people who took the photos and posted them online, b) shame the people who have helpfully named themselves on twitter, supra.

I'm sorry, that sounds both painful and frustrating. My mom has Crohn's, and I can only imagine that a weight loss that big (that's big no matter how tall you are!) would be caused by unpleasant inflammation. I hope your normal doctors are better.

You are so right, what the fuck was I thinking. Sorry. Naturally it's about conforming to beauty standards generally and doesn't have anything to do with what you weighed to begin with or how you look. I know perfectly well that, for example, no one takes any health concerns of even slightly overweight women…