can’t wait until someone tells her that she, too, will die like everyone else

I was once in the window seat of a row of three. There was a gentleman in the aisle seat. As the boarding process ended, it became clear that the middle seat was to remain blissfully empty and I felt immediate relief, until the gentleman picked himself up, scooted over, and started to lower his ass into the vacant…

That’s literally the exact thing that they were doing.

I think the real news here is that ‘Herman Quirmbach’ is a actual person, and not a professor at Hogwarts.

Using Chapstick causes you to need Chapstick more, so that you need to keep buying it. Why else would I be addicted?!

That William Randolph Hearst had congress make weed illegal so that the hemp paper mills had to shut down and all the newspaper companies had to buy his wood-pulp paper.

Stevie Wonder isn’t blind

I’m just impressed you understood his comment enough to respond. I’m still trying to figure out which parts are autocorrect and which parts are the failures of our education system.

You know it’s bad when the only highlight in the dirt bag is Gwyneth Paltrow.

True, might just be me seeing four anthropomorphized muscular male tigers wearing skimpy leotards around a female gazelle with defined human breasts.... on a pedestal. Must be crazy.

I don’t know what he was expecting.

Shaq’s favorite coach: Mo Cheeks

I’m not getting the outrage. Hotels change names all the time when a new company buys them, usually because they’re named after the company that owns, but sometimes not.

> Complains online that a game might be making money off a baby dying Because Emotions

> Alt-tabs back into Call of Duty, proceeds to gun down 40,000+ people Because Nationalism.

I feel like this is the modern version of guys standing on a corner, looking tough and making comments to people as they walk by, hoping somebody starts a fight with them.

Except now everybody can be the tough guy, and they don’t have to worry about getting their ass turned inside out.

It’s a bit uncomfortable to discuss this, but I’ve had similar experiences to yours, except I’m a guy. When my wife is in the mood and I’m not, I know that there will be emotional repercussions later if I tell her i’m not into it. So I allow her the opportunity to try to get me into the mood, and usually it works.

Attempts to recall a similar instance where a slightly-premature celebration was penalized are escaping us.

I have followed this story with about 8% of the required interest necessary to be well-informed and, so enlightened, am ready to render my final, definitive verdict on what did and didn’t happen.

Please. She took her top off in the middle of hosting a live tv show. Her tits were fair game. There is nothing offensive about what he said.