I heard Mike Zimmer wanted to convert him to fullback, but he was completely against the switch.

Really makes my dad’s favorite way to threaten me, “I’ll hit you so hard your great grandkids will feel it,” seem way more fucked up.

“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

There are now a dozen or more track-special cars factory-developed to road race. Arguably the best one yet comes from Dodge. Why is it such a crime that Dodge would do the same level of extreme, single-mission focused engineering to another platform? The Challenger has always been much truer of a “Muscle Car” than the…

My brother tried this on his Mustang, but it kept crashing...

Howie Long may he burn for his crimes

So you’re saying they just have a deferens of opinion?

Gah this passage:

“Remember, the enemy’s gate is down.”

NO LOWBALLERS MY WIFE KNOWS WHAT I HAVE

No juan wants to end up in this Mustang.

Not going to lie...just seeing someone sit like that makes my junk hurt. How do guys do that? where does it go?

Airplane driveway man’s neighbors:

He aight.

11. Doug Demuro’s Aston Martin V8 Vantage - $(However much the divorce lawyer costs)

Irregardless, Boston sucks.