Jealous. Do you know the amounts of LSD I have to intake in order for me to drift sideways up a mountain?

*Open C:/Users/Avant/Desktop/GifLibrary* *Search: TinyViolin.gif* *no results found*.....You get away with it this time, Phim.

Said the Canadian Bachelorette party.

The storm passed through MN last night and dropped 11 inches. In NYC’s defense, I was 90 seconds late to work today from the traffic.

“God dammit Paul I told you to go before we got in the car. I don’t care if you didn’t have to go then. FINE. YOU WANT TO PULL OVER, WE’RE PULLING OVER”

I would thought the article they wrote about me here would have made me a shoe in. D@mn kids.

Ima write that down.

Arizona Sunshine. Ima shoot all the zombies and burn all the calories.

I particularly enjoyed.....ahhh it doesn’t matter. I’m grayed out on Kotaku anyways. I’m gonna use this as a segue way: How does one get ungrayed on Kotaku? I think I have figured out for most of the other sites:

Kinja’d

“Oh, hey there. What do you like to do for fun? What’s that? Torture yourself by watching videos of things you can’t have”

Man, that header picture is usually only something you see after hitting the “Show Pending Comments” button

Dude. You can’t just put it in the washing machine. That will not help with the rust problem.

Man, don’t worry Torch. No one is good looking sitting next to LeBlanc. Not even that handsome minx Chris Harris.

I would like to propose a solution that discredits negative reviews by people who have logged more than .5 or more than 200 hours. I always loved the “236 hours played” followed by “NOT ENOUGH CONTENT DONT BUY” section

I would have thought the biggest challenge would have involved some sort of anti-Putin chastity belt.

That limo is hideous.

That’s how your comment made me feel.