Here have it in white.

Nah. His Royal Obamaness would never set foot in a flyover state like that unless it was to give some kind of condescending speech or raise a bunch of money. His library and golf course will be built somewhere more appropriate to his sense of self regard, like Hawaii or Martha’s Vineyard or Narnia.

These things.

Do you remember how they used to tiptoe over the cars they “crushed”?

Disagree with this one: behind the wheel of one of those, you are the Master of the Road, looking down on everyone in their cramped and uncomfortable little econoboxes.

You need to carry a second steering wheel in the car for your passengers to flail around on. A friend used to do this with his old RHD Land Rover, and it freaked people out when the passenger started frantically waving the steering wheel around in mock terror.

It’s fun seeing a slice of home in a foreign country. Whenever I go to London, I’m on the lookout. A Ram 2500 is hilarious in London traffic, especially when it has a Calvin pissing on the Dallas Cowboys sticker.

Pretending that a crossover isn’t just a tall station wagon.

Because Roadkill!

The 10th Generation MN12 Ford Thunderbird SC and Mercury Cougar XR-7.

You take that last statement back! A Saab would have nothing to do with that... that... THING!

See, the Jaguar’s simplicity lends itself to an air of understated elegance. The Mercedes is considerably busier with elements that start to clash with one another (all the round air vents peppering a dashboard whose center piece is a plopped-in tablet screen). Give me the smooth brilliance of the Jaguar rather than…

Ken Warby is so jalop it hurts. I recall a documentary from year’s ago about one of his record setting attempts. He was down a bit on speed and his engineer friend calculate that, if he cut 1/2 inch off of the rudder, it would reduce drag but would make the nose dangerously lighter. Warby busted out a cutting torch…

Yes, but can it do this:

Yes. Those six cylinders should be arranged in a line, front to back.

Boston’s Central Artery Tunnel project. AKA the Big Dig...

That's a brilliant line. May have to find a way to fit that on a shirt.

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Dear Lexus,

Can't forget the stripe