All of these proposals, while well-meaning, fail to address the fundamental nature of using the anthem as a vehicle for demonstrating:

wall built to defend against mexico ends up hurting united states

A common argument against paying players is that athletic departments don’t make much of a profit. That’s always been bullshit, but this shows it’s even worse.

The difference being, Mr. Magoo was constantly doing dumb shit but it all tended to work out for him in the end.

how much do you charge for bar mitzvah videos?

It’s really fucked up and irresponsible to make false accusations like that. Let alone so publicly. He killed two dudes. Shame on you.

The only statue in Baltimore that could use more protection is Joe Flacco.

That’s simply not true. Whataboutism is a big part of the test.

God it’s like the only bar you have to pass in order to become a talking head on Fox is answer “no” to the question “do you know what a fase equivalency is?”

This is like the time me and some buddies were driving down to Buffalo to see a Sabres game. We all met up at my buddy Aidan’s house and we were about to get in the car and, with it clearly in sight, I called Shotgun. Clear rules, right?

I was given a ticket when I didn’t exceed the speed limit, because I was coaching at one school, and the patrol officer graduated from the other, and he let me know he was bitter about this. That happens in life.

Taxes, 401K, agent fees, union dues, money manager, deferred payments.

“I’m very confused right now.”

If anything the Bills should have been penalized five yards for being too slow.

As an addendum, Russell Wilson released a personal statement on the matter:

Have you seen the President they’re responding to? Who exactly should be setting the level of discourse here?

I kneeled, but that’s because I got iced.

How will ANY team win today with these distractions. Could set a record for ties today.

“Hey, you should come hang out”

History: JFK fucked around with countless women, including Marilyn Monroe.