I was driving home from a meeting when my son called to tell me that the talking pile of discarded cantaloupe rinds had said this. I had to pull over into a parking lot just so I could scream, “What the fuckity fuck is that douchecanoe talking about?”

If you’ve reached a point where you’re asking “Should I leave my fiance for my crush...” the answer is yes and no.

Confession: I follow her because she is very pretty and sometimes I just like to see pretty on my feed. Just like when I follow puppy Instagram accounts because I want to see adorable smushy puppy faces.

I like the way she owns her toddler/siren looks. She was like, “Fuck it. If you can’t beat it...” It will serve her in good stead as her career progresses.

Get over yourself. I’m a Hillary supporter that plans on voting with the party.

I like him, and I understood that it was supposed to be the character of Ali G who said that racist shit but do you notice how people started laughing at his “yellow people with small dongs” before the minions punchline?

I like him but his jokes aren’t challenging. I don’t think that’s it.

Unless it’s like Borat and people think he’s funny for the wrong reasons. “Man, I sure wish I could say stuff like that about Jews and women and not get in trouble!”

It’s an amicus brief, or a “friend of the court” brief. Such briefs don’t need to actually be “legal” arguments. The Supreme Court’s rules say that they’ll accept any amicus brief that covers a “relevant matter” that the parties didn’t address in their own brief, “which may be of considerable help.”

From what I can gather, pre-pregnancy advice amounts to receiving both of the following from different people (and, often, from the same person):

It’s from the Talented Mr. Ripley!!

I have read several pieces about her over the years, and have seen several interviews on late night talk shows and such. She has always talked about how much she loves his brain. He is no dummy; he made near perfect scores on his SATs and is estimated to have an IQ in the 150s. As someone who is highly attracted to…

I knew this was going to get a conviction. A young minority cop without any institutional ties. The NYPD basically gifted the D.A. with this case. The department did little to back him and even the PBA’s response was tepid.

I can’t help but feeling they picked this case to throw the book at to sort of “make up” for all the more egregiously outright murders cops have committed and gotten off clear and free for. I think he bears a lot of responsibility but so does the city (don’t put rookies together on the most dangerous patrol possible;…

That’s insane. This guy fired one shot in the dark that ricocheted and hit Gurley by accident. Did he act neglicent by pulling the trigger after hearing a sound in the dark on a stairwell? Absolutely. Did he kill a black man in cold blood execution style or slowly strangle him to death like so many other cops did.…

Waitaminute... so between this guy and Daniel Holtzclaw, are we only convicting Asian cops then?

“This is one of the things that pisses me the hell off with those people, especially dudes, who are pro-forced birth.”

Don’t worry kid, it’s coming. We already have the four horsemen of the apocalypse: