My sister just texted me "Hi darl, thinking of your face," so thanks for this. Thanks very very much.

You laugh now, but then Facebook will go ahead and buy it for dicktillion dollars. And then the brogrammers who brogrammed it will invest all of their money in axe body spray.

If you can hear it on YouTube or the radio, for free, WHY ARE YOU STEALING IT?

Is it possible for you and your friend to read that book at the same time when you borrow it? Can you keep the book forever, while your friend retains equal access to it? Your example doesn't fit the situation.

What the fuck, climate change. First, you mess with the wine and now guacamole. What's next? coffee?

Time to get QUESO!!!

Okay so I live in the newly-minted SIXTH most expensive city in the world, Melbourne. I would like to draw your attention to this picture, taken only recently. Be advised that this is a normal avocado, not even organic. Please write your sympathies below.

I think one could reasonably conclude from this that climate change deniers hate guacamole.

I just pictured my weekly sofritas bowl without its beautiful crown of light green guac and I cried. I did. I cried a little bit.

PS: I googled "bad picture of Lupita Nyong'o" and this is all I got

I love how awesomely creepy Mellie can be.

I should dislike Daddy Pope and the way he just talked to his daughter, for chrissakes, but I'm getting a little sick of Olivia's crap too. How can she stand being with someone who outright tells her to leave his sight? With a mood that mercurial, it's safe to say I'd go back to helping someone else win the White…

Think he'll present 12 Years a Slave?
Cuz, you know...... Awwwwkwardddd.

When not erect it reads "Strong 4 man but".

We do — they're called legislators (not a great job performance).

1) I think the "some call them mothers" thing was a dig at pro-choice insistence that being pregnant doesn't make you a mother because it's not "a child."

2) Is this not the MOST METAL way to refer to pregnancy, ever? Seriously, THE HOST. "I'm vomiting this morning because my host body is rejecting the DNA of the…

Someone isn't going to Motherboy this year.

If you use that same terminology against the forced birth crowd, they will go insane and go on and on about how only the lowest kind of person could equate a precious baby with a parasite. When one of their own does it? Not so much as an eyebat.

This guy is my least favorite Steve Martin.

He then went on to say, "Happy Incubator's Day to my wife and the vessel who bore me!"