There may be nothing better in this world on a cold winter night than Papa's split pea soup, hammy and delicious, drizzled with vinegar. Love me some SPS.

Hey me too!

On a serious note: you know why childhood bullying is so bad? Because it doesn't make you stronger like your parents and teachers say to try and comfort you as a kid. It makes you utterly unable to handle even mild bullying as an adult because you have seriously had it up to here with this bullshit.

My favorite ladies' room fresco reads: "GOD IS IN EVERY JAEGER BOMB."

So divine.

My prediction was that she'd fast-track him to Fantasy Suites and then dump him citing the "language barrier" as the reason. What do you think, did they get it on off-camera? Girl's an even bigger fool than I realized if she didn't. Adoni don't fall into your lap everyday.

I'm totally cool with that, but can you at least Skype your wedding so I can get those vicarious kicks?

I AM SO WITH YOU ON THIS. DO NOT DRINK TEA IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THE TASTE OF TEA, RIFF RAFF.

The entire episode is going to be Bachelor/ette-themed. I wish Des would take the hint and just say "Fuck it, The Bachelorette is now Wipeout. Whoever wins the whole thing wins My Love®."

Oh my god, I miss ONE episode and JUAN PABLO DISAPPEARS???? How in unholy hell did this happen? Last night I'm all "my first day back at work SUCKED but at least now I can gaze at Juan Pablo's gorgeous faceWHAT?"

HEY that's the same woman in the stock photo for the article about how cunnilingus is just an evolutionary fidelity-trap.

More proof that the non-profit workplace is actually Bizarro World: my boss is way meaner to me when I look prettier.

I agree with you! BUT, my grampy gave my grandmother an amazing star sapphire ring when my dad was born...which I inherited, and love, and wore on my wedding day (something blue!), and treasure in the original box it came in. So, maybe classy push presents that become heirlooms = not that bad?

I knew Juan Pablo's handlebars would be glorious.

Cosigned. My reaction: "Freshman year of college?! That DOESN'T EVEN COUNT."

Wow, the debate on pubic hair and the debate on changing your last name after marriage are the EXACT SAME DEBATE.

Are we so unadventurous that we can't even have a one night stand with someone without yelping him? Having bad sex is what makes you aware of what good sex is. And having dick boyfriends is what makes you aware of what you want in a good one. (I'm not talking about abuse situations here, just dickish behavior…

I agree with your point, but mostly, staring at this exact .gif is what has gotten me through the last few weeks, so you're awesome for posting it.

1. It DID look very painful! Now, do you think he held the injury closer to his crotchal region on purpose for more crotchal airtime? (Crotchal. Just say it. It's fun.)

Ugh, I was writhing around in discomfort every time he came on screen talking about how deeply he was effected by Steph's appearance. Brandon, is your name Donovan? Are you a child? Brandon, are you Steph's child Donovan? No? Okay just checking. There are way more sad events that also have nothing to do with you…